Before we can ask how to have a happy marriage we must also ask what IS a happy marriage. This can be so different from couple to couple that sometimes we can get lost in a sea of clichés.
The classic 1950's working husband and stay at home wife with kids.
The urban couple married with cats.
The large extended family.
The Brady bunch blended family.
and many more
The problem with all of these is that we are all trying to conform to stereotypical norms from what we have seen around us and often from what we see on TV!
Real happy marriages come from good communication and a desire to build happiness not concentrate on problems. The vision we aim for can be helpful but should never interfere with the journey we are on and should not stop us doing things differently out of fear that we are breaking some sort of pact.
There are many ways to approach how to have a happy marriage but the first is to find your roles within the marriage. You do not necessarily need to be "the breadwinner" or "the homemaker" or any other clichés. You need to determine whose strengths go where and compliment each other in all things that you do. The best relationships come where both people have turns at being the leader in certain things such as cooking, finances, child rearing, home maintenance, family outing planning and so forth. This means no one is dominant, conflict is reduces and you can create your own marriage and family vision from what works best.
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