BEST MARRIAGE COUNCELLING FOR HAPPY HOME

How Do I Save My Marriage Right Now? Follow These 3 Easy Steps

2009-12-08T04:40:00.000-08:00

No one said that marriage was going to be easy, and it isn't. However, we somehow seem to think that it will be for us when we first get married. We can beat those odds of 1 out of every 2 marriages ending in divorce because we are in love, and we will live, "happily ever after." Then we get married.

After being married for awhile we realize that we really don't know what we're doing. The only models of marriage we had were our parents and those of our friends. Some of those marriages may have been happy, some were not, so we're left with having to figure out what works and what doesn't. If you're reading this to begin to answer the question, "How do I save my marriage," then you know that most of the time we end up figuring out what DOESN'T work but still have no idea of what does work.

So, I have 3 ways that WILL work to help you transform your marriage and will help you get your marriage back to that "happily ever after" situation you wanted in the first place.

1.) The first is to realize that arguments are based on hurt and resentment.

You need to realize that most of your arguments are coming from hurt and misunderstandings and those areas of hurt are what really need to be addressed to make some major changes in your marriage.

So, for example, if you're arguing about your love life being in a slump. One person says, "We never make love anymore." Making love is not really the main issue. The main issue is that one spouse is hurt because they don't feel attractive or loved anymore. So if you focus on making your partner feel more attractive and loved, you will probably find that this argument goes away pretty quickly.

First of all the word "never" is never true. So to say, "We NEVER make love anymore," probably isn't true. They are really saying, "We don't make love as much as we used to, and that's making me feel unattractive or unloved."

If you can focus on making your partner feel more loved in other ways this argument will most likely go away. Remember, the real issue is that your partner is hurt because they feel like you don't love them or they don't turn you on anymore.

If you understand that the disagreements in your marriage are coming from hurt and resentment, then you can focus on healing those hurts and fixing the real problems that plague your marriage.

2.)The second key in answering the question, "How do I save my marriage," is to not be who you think your spouse wants you to be.

What? I can transform my marriage by not being the person my spouse wants me to be? No, what I'm saying is to not try to be the person you THINK your spouse wants you to be. So many times when a marriage is in trouble, one spouse tries to save it by doing all the things they think their spouse wants them to do Then sadly, they are shocked when they've made all these changes, and their spouse still hands them divorce papers.

Now I'm not saying to not make some changes to who you are, but you need to make them for the right reason. You need to become more loving, caring, understanding, etc., because you want to be a better person, not to try to save your marriage. If your partner has complained to you over the years that you are thoughtless and insensitive because you do such and such, you should try to change those things about yourself in order to make yourself the best person you can be.

If you only try to change because you hope it will save your marriage, your spouse will feel that and resent it because they will feel like they are being played. You need to make some changes that YOU don't like about yourself to become a better person, with no other ulterior motive. Surprisingly, this is going to make you very attractive to your spouse. The transformation this can make is incredible.

3.)The third key in saving your marriage is to love your partner in a way that "feels" like love to them.

This is critical to answering the question, "How do I save my marriage?" Gary Chapman wrote a fantastic book in this area called, The Five Love Languages. In it he talks about how there are 5 different ways that people express and receive love.

1. Affirming Words- this is basically saying sweet and loving things to your partner.

2. Quality Time- this is loving your partner by spending time together.

3. Gifts- this one's kind of obvious, it's loving someone by giving or receiving gifts.

4. Acts Of Service- this is loving someone by doing nice things for them, like laundry, cooking meals, cleaning the house, etc.

5. Touch- simply hugging, kissing, holding each other, making love, etc.

Without going into depth on what's covered in this book, the main point made in this book is that oftentimes, we are married to someone who speaks a different "love language" than we do. So, if you mainly see that loving your spouse is done by giving them gifts(Gift Giving), they may see love expressed by spending time together(Quality Time).

So you bring home flowers and candy as a way of saying, "I love you," but it doesn't really seem to change anything in your relationship. That's because you are actually speaking different languages when it comes to love. If you try to learn which of the five love languages your spouse "speaks," start learning to "speak" that love language. Transformation is almost inevitable.

You CAN have a "happily ever after" type of marriage but you have to know how to do it. Let me ask you:

Are you tired of the way your spouse is treating you? Do you feel like you're not being respected, heard or loved by your partner?

Does it seem like you're fighting all the time about things like money and sex? You can't seem to resolve anything and the arguments just linger....?

Has your partner cheated on you? Are you surviving the pain of an affair?

Has your partner already walked out the door?

There is a powerful and proven method that can get your marriage back on track, even if you and your spouse can't communicate about anything! Even if you are the only one who wants to work on it.

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Learn a powerful 4 step formula to stop cheating dead in its tracks.

Fall in love with your partner again, and get them to fall in love with you.

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Dating, Romance, Love and Marriage - The Top Ten Tips for Success

2009-12-01T09:57:00.000-08:00

There is no such thing as standards or infallible rules to follow to become successful in handling a relationship. So if you are trying to find the perfect formula for success in relationship you will very much end up in disappointment because "ideal relationship" doesn’t have a formula to follow.

But there are things that you can do in order to help you find success in your relationship. Remember this: the success and failure of the relationship, whether it is on the dating stage or after you have exchanged your vows, depend on how you treat yourself, your partner, and the things that connect you together. Therefore, knowing exactly what to do to make relationship work will give you better chances for success. Here are the top ten tips on how to achieve success to your relationship.

1. Learn to compromise. Many relationships fail for lots of different reasons. One of this is clash of egos. Couples act the way they want to as if there is a power struggle. Women are often submissive to men when it comes to who should take the helm of the relationship. But women decide more on emotion rather than logic. Men on the other hand take control and are more logical when it comes to decision making. Now, relationships tend to be shaken the typical type of command is not applied. Although this "norm" is not and should not be treated as gospel truth, there seems to be a great issue if couples go out of this "norm". The tendency is to have conflict. What couples should do is to learn how to compromise and understand each other to solve what needs to be solved.

2. Be productive. Being financially stable of both couples is another great factor to the success of the relationship. Although not all men and women are "gold-diggers", the truth is that it is important for both to generate money for financial survival. This may be nowhere near the ideal foundation of a good relationship but reality dictates that one of the reasons why many couples break up is because one or both of them have reduced or lost their sources of income.

3. Act maturely. This may be a no-brainer but most couples act thinking that they are mature enough to handle relationship and to decide on things that are crucial to the success of the relationship. Not because you're old means that are mature. Maturity is a vague word and maybe can be interpreted differently by different people but one thing is certain: knowing that you have acted maturely on things will take a look back from yesterday. What you can do at "present" is to judge cerebrally and not emotionally the issues, actions, and decisions you and your couple should make.

4. Provide support. Knowing that there is someone he or she can lean on will help the relationship during times (it strengthens emotional connection). It also builds mutual trust among couples.

5. Show trust/Do not cheat. Another deciding factor to the success or failure of a relationship is the trust given by the couples and the honestly they show to their partner. Trust your partner and you will receive the same amount of trust from him/her. Never commit any act of cheating. This will ruin your relationship. As the saying goes, "cheaters never win."

6. Take/share responsibility. It takes two to tango, so as to a good relationship. And taking responsibility on things is one that you should both agree on. Responsibility, however, is not limited to the money, but also on the emotional support among other things.

7. Admit mistakes. First things first: It is okay to commit mistake… as long as you recognize and admit it. It is okay to become vulnerable sometimes especially to men who thinks that admitting mistakes makes them less masculine.

8. Say "sorry". And once you have recognized your mistakes, say "sorry". Do not fight ego with ego. Once you realized that you have committed something wrong, say "sorry". After all, women appreciate men who know how to admit mistakes and vice versa.

9. Forgive... it saves relationship.

10. Finally, learn not to commit the same mistakes.

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g Life, Love and Marriage at Your Perfect Wedding Ceremony

2009-11-30T09:56:00.000-08:00

There's a reason all the fairy tale stories end with: And they lived happily ever after. No one was really willing to look at how hard marriage is. It is hard. And it's incredibly rewarding. But we don't do ourselves any favors at our wedding ceremonies if we only acknowledge the sweetness of marriage apart from the complexity of it. Love can triumph over life's obstacles. But it is helpful to understand that love will be stretched and tested. There's a Yoruban wedding tradition that speaks directly to that.

One caveat: It's important that we not simply snatch rituals from other cultures and apply them to our lives, so I haven't included the ritual here. What we're looking at is the intent and content of that ritual. Find the words yourself to make this ritual right for you, and acknowledge where it came from.

One of the wonderful things about this ritual is that it includes your sense of taste. The more senses involved in an event, the more ways it is recorded in your brain. That gives you more ways, once the wedding is over to recall - call back - the memory. The more easily and frequently you remember your wedding and how you loved one another on that day, the stronger your marriage. So what are the components? (you don't need to swallow these, you just need to touch them to your tongue)

Sour: Life does not always work out the way we want it to, but it is interesting. Taste: Lemon Juice. If you can arrange it, have your celebrant juice the lemon, so its scent works for you as well.
Bitter: Sometimes life is challenging and the results are difficult to accept. Loving marriage can help us withstand those painful moments. Taste: Vinegar. Isn't it interesting that the scent of vinegar can be used to revive someone. We recoil from the harshness of life, but it does make us feel alive.
Hot: Life is passionate and sometimes a bit more fiery than we're ready for. And there's no one who can make us more crazy - in love and in anger - than our sweetie beloved! Taste: Cayenne pepper. Just touch a little to your tongue.
Sweet: The goal is that we will work to keep love and marriage sweet enough so that the last taste in our mouth (and in our hearts) is always sweetness. Taste: Honey. Honey is an interesting sweetener because it also heals. It's interesting to consider how the sweetness between us can heal.
I would add to this ritual a glass of fresh water. Or even a glass of water seasoned with all these tastes. Don't know whether you noticed, but these are exactly the ingredients that you put into an energy drink, commonly given to people who fast. In the right combinations, this is a wonderful drink. (Why not serve it at the wedding as a non-alcoholic option?) And that's the truth. In the right proportions all of these things make a wonderful drink and a wonderful life. Too much sweetness is cloying. To much bitterness wears you down. Either too much tartness and too much fire can separate you. But in balance and in succession, they will enrich your lives and your marriage.

You just might want to keep a jug of this in your refrigerator as tonic for life. Don't drink it without thinking about what you're doing. Extra marriage points if you use the same jug in your refrigerator that you had on your wedding altar.

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Love and Marriage, 6 Tips - 90% of Couples Aren't Compatible Enough

2009-11-30T09:54:00.000-08:00

Many generations ago, marriage was about survival, property, money, securing family dynasties, and pragmatism, not love or sexual intimacy. Marriage remained popular largely because of the stigma attached to sex outside of marriage.

Now "love" is the main reason given for tying the knot, but do most couples share enough compatibility, including chemistry, to spend the rest of their lives together?

After over 25 years of empirical research involving relationships, spirituality, matchmaking, and personality and compatibility assessment, we've found that most couples don't.

True Compatibility is Very Rare

Initially, it can be difficult to perceive a new relationship clearly, as the illusion of romantic love can cloud judgment. Most who plan to get married think they're a great match, but having life-long, true compatibility including mutual chemistry and mutual physical and sexual attraction is very rare, even among couples that appear to have the perfect relationship.

Then you must consider the fact that people evolve (or regress) at various rates, which commonly pulls a couple apart over the course of their lives.

When evaluating someone's personality, we discern an individual's strengths and challenges. Mix in their unique timing, the compatibility assessments, and idiosyncrasies (physical and, or habitual) that repel instead of attract a potential match, and the level of genuine harmony concerning two people is brought to light.

We've found that most couples, especially when the relationship begins in their teens or 20s, lack the long-term mutual compatibility that is needed for a life-long, happy relationship. We estimate that 90% or more of couples don't even come close to the more desirable, higher levels of compatibility, including great chemistry.

What about sacrifice, you say? If you love someone, shouldn't you be willing to sacrifice? Only to a point, as being a martyr isn't healthy. While it might be considered noble, and certainly a good relationship is worth some sacrifice, too much will make you die inside over time.

So What do You do?

Are you supposed to just stay single or unhappily involved for the rest of your life?

It's Not Your Fault

If you've read the best-selling self-help books and, or attended the popular seminars but you're still not living the love life you think you should be, the so-called relationship experts aren't telling you the whole story. It's their fault. We show you what they are hiding, or don't even know!

It's Not For Everyone

Our recommendations and advice are not for those who insist on viewing all the romantic myths and illusions (see the next column in two weeks for more information) as truth and refuse to face the reality of relationships. You will benefit from what we have to share if you are willing to look at your love life from a different vantage point.

Some of the following suggestions may sound overly-simplistic, but you'd be surprised how few people follow them on a regular basis. Some may seem out of the ordinary, but since our society's relationship customs aren't working out so well, we urge you to consider them.

6 Tips for a Better Love life

1) Be realistic. It's okay to want the experience of love and romance and even the fantasy of the ideal relationship. But it's better to allow each possible relationship to unfold naturally and be what it is meant to be. Try not to project your wishes and expectations onto someone.

2) Don't look for someone to fulfill your every need or expect this from a partner. Each person you become involved with entails different reasons and lessons, often unknown to you in the beginning. With the right direction, you can see your potential matches more clearly from the start. Don't expect your partner to be there for you mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually at all times, because they may not be capable of it and it's not your right to demand this. Developing friendships outside of your relationship and self-reliance will help solve this common problem.

3) Try to enjoy each other with no expectations. If you feel insecure about doing this without a "commitment," you may want to reexamine why, if your reasons are still valid, and how you might be able to overcome your fears.

4) Do as much as you can to work through relationship problems, but also accept that most relationships are not meant to last a lifetime, as evidenced by our long-term findings, the high divorce rates, and the multitudes who remain unhappily married.

5) If you insist on marriage, make sure you share compatibility including mutual chemistry that you suspect is strong enough to last for the rest of your life (be honest with yourself about this). Waiting at least a few years before getting married is a good idea to ensure that you're not confusing compatibility, including chemistry, with romantic illusion. Comprehensive numerology, astrology, and handwriting analysis with an experienced practitioner are great tools to define your levels of compatibility.

6) If you're already married or involved in a marriage-like relationship and you're both truly happy (not just content), you should feel very grateful. If one or both of you are unhappy, consider the restrictions and demands of your legally-binding agreement that may be at the root of this, and investigate ways to improve your bond, such as therapy. Accepting each other as you are (not as you think they should be) and the relationship as it is will also help. If you've done all that you can and feel it's time to move on, it may be.

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The Secret to a Truly Successful Marriage

2009-11-26T09:47:00.000-08:00

In this article I am about to reveal what is arguably the #1 most significant secret to a fulfilling and a happy and successful marriage.

First of all, let us define successful. Some consider that a couple that remains married for a long period as having a "successful" marriage. That is far far from the truth. The fact is that many, many couples remain married for the very same reasons that many, many couples get married in the first place... FEAR. That's right, fear of separation. Fear of starting over again. Fear of failure. Fear of the unknown. Fear of finding someone else. Fear of not having the security of knowing that somebody is there in their life (rather they're fulfilled or not). Fear of being yet another divorce statistic. Fear of breaking the marriage vows of staying together "till death do us part".

So just because a couple may have been married for 31 years that does NOT mean that they have a "successful" marriage.

Success at anything can best be defined by a fulfillment of ones goals. For example if a person says that they're goal is to run in the next marathon, and they actually run in it then they have succeeded (rather they actually complete the entire run or not). It was still an admiral goal they set and they did run in it and they should be proud of their success. It is something the vast majority of other people would NEVER do.

If another says that their goal is to complete the marathon race and they actually complete it then they were a success. They were successful at completing their goal.

If another says that their goal is to win the next marathon, they will only have succeeded if they actually WIN it. There is only one winner. To succeed, they have to come in first place. If they come in second place then they achieved something admiral... but they did NOT succeed. Again... success is the fulfillment of one's goal and purpose.

Nobody get's married with a goal of staying married. They're goal is to have a happy and fulfilling life with this other person. The only successful marriages are those where both in the relationship are happy, content and fulfilled. A couple who has been miserably married for 20 years is NOT an example of a successful marriage just because neither has the gumption to get out of the hell which has become their married life, (sometimes since before the honeymoon).

So this report is not about how to stay in a bad marriage (and remain miserable, depressed, unfilled and oftentimes...unfaithful). NO, this is about the SECRET to a happy and fulfilled and therefore successful marriage.

This secret is so simple and yet so obvious that many of you may be disappointed in it's simplicity. It is nothing profound and yet ...it is profoundly simple and true.

Many couples go to marriage counselors and couples therapy trying to fix bad or even ruined and irreparable marriages. For those couples this secret isn't going to help them much. They should have learned this secret a long time ago... before they even got married.

You see, it's extremely difficult to put something back together that was never quite together to begin with. Often, it was broken from the onset and now you want to fix it.

There are many reasons that people get married:

* Desperation
* Insecurities
* Need
* Greed
* Free sex
* Want kids
* AIDS
* Lonely
* Want stability
* Getting older... "Don't want to grow old alone."
* Pregnancy "It's for the kids"

All of the reasons above, 100% of them are BAD reasons to get married.

It is astounding to see the foolish thinking that is prevalent today. There are many people, once they make up their mind that they want to get married will then marry the first person who stumbles across their path and is equally determined and equally desperate. Often they set their standard so low it's as if the only qualification is a 'willingness' to "commit".

Having said all of that I will now reveal to you THE SECRET to a successful marriage. It far surpasses anything else you will ever hear or learn about this subject. THE SECRET is this... ((drum roll please)) ...MARRY THE RIGHT PERSON!

That's it folks. THAT is the "secret", Marry the Right person in the first place... and everything else can work itself out!

The "right" person means the RIGHT person for you. And it is critical that you know that they are the right person for you ONLY if you also are the right person for them.

Fellas' you may have a picture in your mind and an image of the girl of your dreams but you must also be the man of her dreams ...or that dream may turn into a nightmare. Same for the ladies, the man whom you envision as your knight in shining amour must also see you as his Queen.

Marriage is really not that difficult at all if you followed this secret to begin with. If you marry the right person you don't have to spend your entire relationship trying to make that person into whom you want or need them to be.

If you're single then I say ...hold out for the right person. Do not compromise on it. Set your standards high and do not deviate from them.

But I also must say that a problem with many marriages is that people only look for what they want and what and who they envision as being the right type of person for them. You must also consider that you must also be what that other person really and truly wants also. Many marriages fail because this is neglected.

Fella's, you want a younger, sexy, beautiful woman? That's fine...but your primary requirement must be that she...in spite of the fact that she has numerous options and will always be hit on almost daily if she's really truly "hot"...will be content with YOU. If not... then she is NOT the right person... even if you can get her to marry you.

You women who want a guy who is popular, rich, famous... that's your right to desire that. But you'd better make sure that you are what he really and truly wants as well.

You want him for his popularity, wealth and fame? Well women like you are a dime a dozen. There is no scarcity there, he can replace you in a heartbeat.

If you're truly serious then take a look down the road.... consider the future. If they are the right person for you but will not be the right person for you down the road... and you know it, then they are NOT the right person for you and you are not the right person for them. Do not use marriage to fulfill your temporary needs. Look for Mr. Or Mrs Right ...not for Mr. Or Mrs Right Now.

This article is only for people that are serious about love and marriage. All the game players and people that just want to use the institution of marriage to fulfill your ulterior motives... I have nothing to say to you at all other than... I wish you the worst. To the rest... the sincere folk, good luck! But rather you're looking for true love or just want to have fun there is truly nothing like using chat rooms to find exactly the type person that is perfectly suited for you... and most people are just missing out on the opportunities here because nobody has ever shown them how to use chat rooms to find your true love online.

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Can We Just Get Along and Stay Married?

2009-11-24T09:41:00.000-08:00

If you've been married, you're quite familiar with these words, "To have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death us do part." Or you may have been creative and wrote your own wedding vows. How long do these words last in our marriages? For me, two years and I was divorced. I thought, when I get married, I would be married for the rest of my life. I can remember during our engagement, we talked about being together in our nineties and still walking with each other. We couldn't wait to be married. Then, why am I divorced? Why are you divorced? Why don't marriages last? And, how many of us actually go into a marriage thinking we are going to get a divorce?

The questions are many, but the results are the same. Divorces are rampant in our society and marriages are becoming obsolete. Research has shown that the divorce rates are higher in European or American countries, where individual freedom is given higher stress, than in, say, Asian or African ones, where familial and social opinions cause higher stress. I can remember when being divorce was taboo and people got married and stayed together for better or for worse. Society frowned on divorce and the traditional families were intact. Since my parents were divorce for as long as I can remember, I thought that I would never get a divorce and beat the odds. I too frowned on divorces. However, as mentioned above, I make up the 51% of first marriages ending in divorce and many of my family and friends join me in this category, unfortunately. Then why aren't marriages working and why aren't we taking our vows seriously?

Could one reason be that there are many complex relationships in today's society? I did a radio show recently on relationships. My producer researched the subject and some of the relationship dynamics she discovered were men and women in relationships are cohabiting, same sex marriages, step parenting, and individuals opting to have a baby without being married for example. I was astonished when Halle Berry said on national television on the Oprah Winfrey Show that she wanted to have a baby but not get married. Years later, that's exactly what she did.

Centuries ago, the Romans had an interesting view towards marriage. They thought that marriages out to be free and either spouse could opt out of the marriage if things weren't going as they planned. Based on divorce courts and the current divorce rate and statistics, we are adopting the Roman's view towards marriage. Marriages are dissolved as easy as for "Irreconcilable Differences." Even though many books are written on dating, relationships, and strengthening marriages, people are breaking wedding vows for different reasons. When men and women can begin to understand each other and communicate with each other, we can live happily, build meaningful relationships and stay married. What a wonderful world that will be! I'm willing to try, are you?

There are many different but common reasons for divorces such as lack of communication, financial problems, and abuse; however, none of them seem common to the people going through a divorce. Regardless of the reasons, men and women must find a way to keep marriages healthy and working. I want to take that step again and get married. This time, I want to defy the odds that 67% of second marriages end in a divorce. I want to learn from my first marriage and have a second change for love and marriage. I'm ready, are you?

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Catch a Cheating Spouse - Don't Be Blind Because of Love and Let Someone Else Take Your Place

2009-11-19T09:36:00.000-08:00

There's something very strange about the chemistry of love. People fall in love only to break up because their partner cheated on them. It's such a shame to see not only boyfriends and girlfriends falling apart; but to see husbands and wives doing the same.

Gone are the days when people can trust their mates blindly because the world is becoming a more and more twisted place to live in. There's no denying the fact that adulterous involvement of typical husbands and wives is increasing at an alarming rate. The point I'm trying to focus on here is to not let anyone take the advantage of your love even if it's your most beloved spouse. If you feel something weird in their activities then keep your eyes wide open and take all the precautions needed.

You can simply start from checking their computer, work schedule, or even give them a surprise visit to their work place to look for anything suspicious. However, the better and secretive option is to check your spouse's cell phone when you have the opportunity to do so without them knowing about it. Then look for any suspicious phone numbers and write them down.

Once you are done then you are going to use a reliable reverse cell phone service. Just forward the phone number to the providers and you will get the results quickly. The experts will take a minute to provide you with detailed information about the owner of that phone number. Such as full name, address, etc. By the way the service fee is very reasonable considering the privileges it provides.

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Falling in Love, Being in Love and Expressing Love

2009-11-16T09:34:00.000-08:00

As a Psychologist and Marriage Counselor I have repeatedly seen the difference between falling in love and being in love. It is almost as if falling in love happens to us. In fact, physiological studies have shown that many neurochemicals and hormones are released during the falling in love phase. This physiological process actually narrows an individual's awareness. While over stated, the old saying "love is blind" is not so far from the truth. Especially if you are referring to falling in love.

Being in love is a bit different. It follows the seemingly nonstop intense fireworks of falling in love. The blinders come off. This is when love can be looked at more as a choice. Something that requires more purposeful intention.

A number of years ago I came across the work of Dr. Gary Chapman. He speaks of love languages. In fact, he identifies five:

1) words of affirmation,

2) acts of service,

3) quality time,

4) physical touch, and

5) receiving gifts.

I would contend that all of these expressions of love are important in a relationship. However, typically one can be the "golden key" that unlocks feelings of love in your partner.

Early in a relationship we likely don't figure out what are partner's primary love language is. This is because in the falling in love phase we likely do them all. As a relationship moves into the being in love phase we likely fall into our own language. If I am a word guy, I may say "I love you", "I love you", "I love you". It won't unlock the deepest experience of being loved if it does not match my partner's primary love language.

The Challenge

I challenge you to make your relationship a priority. If you are having challenges in your relationship, it may be due in part to speaking the wrong language.

You may be asking yourself, "How can I figure out my partner's love language?". Great question! I am glad you asked. I'll identify two ways. The first is to listen to the criticism given to you by your partner. If you hear "You are never home" -- you got it -- Time is it. You can also conduct experiments. Do all of them over a period of time and pay attention to the results.

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alling in Love, Being in Love and Expressing Love

2009-11-11T09:54:00.001-08:00

The Zahir - A Story of Love and Realization

2009-11-11T09:44:00.001-08:00

The Zahir" meaning 'the present' or 'unable to go unnoticed' is one of the best works of Coelho. The novel has both spiritual and philosophical touch to it. Its about this man, the protagonist and his quest for discovering his own self. It centers on the narrator-a best-selling novelist's search for his wife.

Having enjoyed all the privileges that a man can, thanks to money and his celebrity-hood, he realizes that his life is now confronted with some of the most unpredictable questions. Esther, his wife for ten years has disappeared from their home and immediately he is suspected of foul play by the authorities and the press. Unable to comprehend Esther's inexplicable disappearance, he is forced to re-examine both his marital relationship and his own life.

The narrator has questions aplenty which have no answer. Was Esther kidnapped or did she decide to part ways with him after having a failed marriage? Eventually, his only link in Esther's disappearance is Mikhail, his wife's friend. Then the narrator starts his journey- his quest to find out his wife. Like Coelho's other stories, this one too focuses on journey. During this journey, he discovers a lot about life and love and its various faces.

It is then that he realizes about his obsession for his wife, rather than his love. All this does make him a much more enlightened human being who is continually traveling in the pursuit of his dreams. Man can fulfill his own dreams and destroy them too. That's exactly what the author tries to and in fact, successfully portrays in this beautiful novel of human emotions and continuous enlightenment of an individual. The narrator understands the worth of what he had long taken for granted only after losing it to time and is left without an answer to his questions.

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HOW TO DEAL WITH DEBT IN AFFECTION AND MARRIAGE RELATIONSHIP IN THIS TIME OF WORLD ECONOMIC MELTDOWN EXPOSED!

2009-10-17T06:38:00.001-07:00

INTRODUCTION

Many people in affection and Marriage relationship are in a serious debt today and do not know the way out of it. Sadly enough, it is a serious burden that some couples, even Christian couples or families are facing today especially in this time of global Economic Melt-down and as a result they are weighed down, confused, worry, frustrated and even so ashamed of themselves. As couples in Affection and Marriage relationship. It is the will of God for you to live a debt-free life; and I mean God wants you to live a life that is debt free. Consequently, it is not the will of God for you to live and also die as a debtor. And of course I doubt it if any debtor will enter into Heaven. But no hassles! Because there is solution to this horrible situation and that is why I am here to place the solution into your hands by sharing with you the secrets and Godly principles that can help you to live a life that is free from debt. Are you ready?

PROBLEM THAT IS ASSOCIATED WITH DEBT IN AFFECTION AND MARRIAGE RELATIONSHIP

When anyone in affection and marriage relationship is debt, is apparently becomes an obligation that such ones must settle the debt. And obviously it is very much get indebted than to pay what is own back. Debt as a matter of fact becomes a source of worry and concern. It also influences ones life negatively and most time, the so called creditors tends to dictate how you to run your affairs as a debtor. Meaning that the borrowers are servants to their lenders. Read more on this in book of Prov. 22:7. Debt also bring shame, it make one a bankrupt especially when the debt is so huge that property must be sold to meet some obligations. In such a situation mentioned above, it affects one personal life and ones relationship. It has also render some people paralyzed in their body, brain, legs and arms, and some have even died as a result of debt owed.

Moreover, debt as so become a very big problem that many in affection and marriage relationship do not know how to get out of it. Some couple makes the decision to commit suicide; some decide to run away while relatives and friends have decided to forsake some. In this light I conclude that debt is not good, and please couples do not make debt a way of life because it is very much better to stay away from debt especially when it is can be avoided.

CAUSES OF DEBT IN AFFECTION AND MARRIAGE RELATIONSHIP

There are so many reasons couples in affection and marriage relationship develop the habit of borrowing which later leads to debt. For example, some spouse because of the bad habits like, gambling, drunkenness, addiction to drugs, sexual thrilling, like patronizing prostitutes and maintaining concubines while some couples love to spend their so called good time in eateries, live in fabulous hotel, spend their vacations/leave in big and lovely places of the world, and some couples are very much concern about the latest cars, technology and fashions, when it so clear to them that they can not afford all these things. In other word some couple when borrowed find it difficult to pay back not because they do not have the resources but rather it has become their habit or culture not to pay back. But the Bible called such one wicked person, so if you are such a couple please repent now and deceased from such evil act Proverbs 21:17, 2Timothy 3:4 and Psalm 37:21.

SOME OTHER THINGS THAT LEAD TO DEBT IN AFFECTION AND MARRIAGE RELATIONSHIP

Some other things to debt in affection and marriage relationship are lack of wisdom and discretion in handling the affairs of their lives. Some couples sincerely lack wisdom in handling their finances and they are so much careless in the way they conduct their lives. Some spend much more than their earnings and some when they are promoted or get better jobs then they begins to have problems, why? Because they lack wisdom and discretion, and the Bible says “wisdom is the principal thing; so get wisdom… (Proverbs 4:7). Some couples spend money for some unnecessary parties and the so called projects, while others have had opportunities in life but they wasted them because they lack wisdom and discretion. The Bible says “of what use is money in the hands of a fool, since he or she has no desire to get wisdom” Proverbs 17:16. Many in affection and marriage relationship decide to ignore God’s injunction or command in the book of Malachi that says bring your whole tithe… , and I means some couple refuse to bring their tithe to God and as a result they brought God’s curse upon themselves which open the door of indebtedness in their lives.

HOW TO GET OUT OF DEBT IN AFFECTION AND MARRIAGE RELATIONSHIP EXPOSED

There are two major ways to get out of debt:

It is either you pay back the debt you owe or
Debt is written of
It is possible that the couples who are able to pay back get a better job, worker harder or conducted their affairs of their estate wisely or some person decides to help them by paying the bills and debt for them as an act of God’s mercy. Do you know that the later is what God did for you and me through His dear begotten son Jesus Christ Whom He sent to die for you and I on the cross of Calvary. Jesus paid the debt once and for all, Jesus did not owe and so to get out of debt as couples the first thing to do is to absolutely trust God for your finances, meaning that you are to depend on God to live above debt. (Read Psalm 125:1); get this straight away, if any in affection and marriage relationship start to worry about their financial problems it means that such couples trust in selves and own ability. It also means that such couple trusts in economy of their nation or the world. God warns in the Holy Bible to keep our lives free from the love of money also to be contend with what we have. He also assured us by telling you and I He will never leave you and never forsake you. The Lord is my helper, I will not be afraid. God the Almighty your creator, the owner and the initiator of affection and marriage is able to handle any kind of debt in your lives when you invite him into your life and marriage relationship and as well hand it over to Him. For God to help you it is a must for you to be faithful in paying your tithe, you must honor the Lord God as the source of your live and wealth (Proverbs 3:9-10). Couples also need to be patient and follow God’s way in dealing with their finances; for those who hasty or desperate to be rich fall into mischief. But he that gather money little by little makes it grow (proverbs 13:11). Be mindful not to venture into lottery and pools, getting credits from other person to put in high risk business, also you must be careful of get rich quick syndrome. Get this straight away; from my experience, being hasty or being rush never get a couple or couples out of trouble but instead it will get you into more trouble very fast. For any in affection and marriage relationship to get out of dept, you must work very hard; you must keep a very steady income, make progress little by little and absolutely trust God for the strength. Secondly: for any one in affection and marriage to get out of dept, it is a must for you to come up with a specific plan and a budget. For this will help you to move ahead on the basics of careful planning, not careless impulse. For if you plan carefully, it is a must that you will have plenty, and consequently, if you act too quickly you will never have enough. You should follow the budget as much as possible except when it is better to do otherwise. Following the above recommendations will help you to keep careful track of spending and you will be able to see the areas that is necessary to cut off the wastages. It will also help you to have a good payment plan that will result stress less payback. More so budgeting will also help you to save money so as to meet on expected expenses. Remember, money is a tool that God want you to use wisely but your ultimate love and affection must be for God, your creator and not money the unrighteous Marmon. My Conclusion for you: please never go into dept unnecessarily, when you find your selves in dept by situation that is beyond your control, God has a way of escape for you in his wisdom. Remember, it is not God will for any couple to be a perpetual debtor. I pray for you that God will help to live a dept free life in Jesus name, and you shall become lender to other in the mighty Name of Jesus Christ. SHALOM!

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MY LIFE EXPERIENCE: The Power Tool for True Affection and Marriage Relationship.

2009-10-17T06:35:00.001-07:00

My names are: Sinat Abegbe Agboolaogun and am married to Akanni Isaac Aboolaogun. My husband Akanni and I live in a village called Idimu-ota, In Ogun state of Nigeria. I have been married to my husband- Akanni very quiet a number of years but I noticed that something is missing in my relationship, with this wonderful husband of mine. I noticed that there was lack of affection in our relationship, meaning that even though my husband-Akanni was a wonderful husband to me in all other ways and our sexual relationship was very good, but aside our sexual act there was no affection in the relationship. But, sincerely it was not because my husband-Akanni did not love me as his wife, he actually loved me too well and I know. But my husband-Akanni problem which I latter discovered was the fact that affection was something he grew up without as a child. And as adage says: you cannot give what you don’t have” and that is the case with my husband-Akanni.

On my own part, the wife-Abegbe, I felt much guilty about the way I was feeling and I do not want to hurt or critise my husband-Akanni, but the fact remain that, I myself had not know affection even as a child too, and that is the reason I needed it so much in my marriage relationship. My situation got more tuff and tuff because one day I confronted my husband-Akanni with this problem and truly, my husband-Akanni at times would try to change but sooner things were always back to the same old story. And as a result of this my experience there was a great frustration and hurt in our marriage relationship. And I became hopeless and I was seriously dying inside of me. To me I could not imagine how I will live the rest of my life without affection and worse still, since I saw no hope of my husband-Akanni being change. One day, I was in this critical situation of my relationship when something suggested to my heart to apply prayers and immediately I got up and I went to my pastor, I mean our church pastor and I narrated my bitter experience to him and what my spirit told me to do. And trust our pastor, PTS O.J. Raheem, he did not waste a single time at all, he calls some prayer warriors and they immediately covered it in prayers even at every week of prayer meetings. And to my greatest shock God miraculously worked on my husband-Akanni and our situation turn around for better and I mean there was a serious radical turn around in our affection and marriage relationship up till date. My Comment:-having look around the world, my observation as a pastor, a researcher and marriage counselor reveals that Mr. Akanni and Mrs. Abegbe’s situation is never a rare one among couples in affection and marriage relationship. Many, even the so called godly men and women are living in an affection and marriage relationship that is already dead, why? Because there is o true, and living affection among them. Some spouse endures simply because their husbands are good in other ways or they do not bold enough to ask for the true. Living affection but sincerely this is not the way God had designed the affection and marriage relationship. The bible says” let the husband render to his wife the affection due to her, and likewise also the wife to her husband” (I Corinthians 7:3). The word of God also says: there is but “a time to embrace” beloved ones, when you are married it is time. Although I have noticed in men that affection is never the number one in the list of their priority and no wonder men often see sex and affection as being the same but sincerely speaking they are not the same. Men should know that the women’s greatest need is affection. And so, if you are in a marital relationship that lack true affection, don’t loss hopes apply prayers ask the heavenly father the author of affection and marriage to transform your spouse and I know he will definitely be glad to answer you because he is the God of all flesh. Conclusion: do you have problem in your marriage relationship? Are you single and you want to choose a partner? Why don’t you visit my blog? www.affectionandmarrige.com or www.aceparentingtips.blogspot.com and drop your request and prayers point, we would help you to pray and counsel you. Doesn’t worry it is free services, God bless you! SHALOM.
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THE FACTS YOU MUST KNOW ABOUT AFFECTION AND MARRIAGE RELATIONSHIP

2009-10-08T13:17:00.001-07:00

To Every flower rose there are thorns. And so to every affection and marriage relationship there are thorns.

Flowers are very delightful to the sight because of colour combinations. They are also very pleasurable to hold because of there tender and soft texture with sweet fragrance. I also noticed that among all sweet smelling shrubs, rose flowers has no rivals. It is an ingredient for perfume. Also every rose flower has a unique design or what I called pattern. For example the sparkling colour arrangement and composition that has small sections of radiating edges from the centre. More so, rose flower is use in figure of speech for description; for example if you have a rose colour perception means to view things as bright and cheerful. But of all these powerful description about rose flower yet there is no rose stem or bonquet without thorns. And to tell you the truth so also is in affection and marriage relationship. Thorns are part of its design to be attractive and beautiful to sight and as well as guarded about with prickles and thorns. In other words, I have not seen a complete, unalloyed happiness, joy without some discomfort and disadvantages. Or have you seen any? Please click here to tell me.http://affectionandmarriage.com/blog/

This is a perfect description of practical side and requirement of any affection and marriage relationship. Marriage celebration usually gladdens the heart of the spectators and as well as sweetens the emotion of the participants, But do not forget that affection and marriage has a kind of self – built defense mechanism (prickles from both spouses) to guard against vulnerability and transparency. Marriage is delightful to the sight so well that the numbers of those who get married/wedded daily outbid and out do and even out match the population of divorce rate. The fact is that every marriage has its own unique design that does not necessarily fit into another or that is not practicable by imitation by another couple. And I mean every home has is own peculiarities that make it seems very similar but all the same different .

The prickles of marriage are hunting points in the life of both spouses who came into the relationship with some chronic wounded-past and current issues to nurse though curable. Affection and marriage is relationship between two adults but involve four persons (two adult with a childish longing or yearning In each or both) who expect establishment of home with promises of comfort, but are confronted with conflicts of inner child of the past. Marriage is a bed of roses with the prickles under the pillow! For every rain fall (divine blessing and mercy), the rose seedling will grow in its vine yard or garden. It is the duall responsibility of both couples to sing a duet of pruning that will remove the natural design of prickles in rose flower if the couples are not going to engage in duel. This is a fact that any one in affection and marriage must know and agree with.

What You Need to Do About a Troubled Marriage

2009-10-04T06:33:00.001-07:00

A troubled marriage is not something that is uncommon in this day and age. The fact is that there are a lot of couples trapped in marriages that they don't care about.

This is a situation that you will want to avoid. Do not let problems drag on or stay unsolved. This will just bury them for a certain time, but the resentments will continue to build up.

A troubled marriage will not get any better on its own. You and your partner will need to make a decision to try and solve any situations that can be solved. Or agree to accept certain situations which are beyond your control.

Clearly the initial step is to look at your marriage and try to work out the problem areas. It would be a good idea to write these issues down. You may find that your partner may have a slightly different list to the one that you have.

This may come as a surprise to you, as you may have been unaware of certain problems. However try to keep in mind that your partner has their own thoughts about things and you need to respect that.

The next thing is to try and sit down together and go through the problems one at a time. Try to work out ways how you can find a solution to the problem that is going to be acceptable to both of you. If it cannot be resolved, move onto to the next one, and come back to this one later on.

This exercise may seem a simple method of trying to solve a troubled marriage, but in reality it can be difficult. You must both agree prior to this exercise that you will both look at each problem objectively and try to see each other's point of view.

The other major issue of a marriage getting into trouble is boredom. We all fall into a trap of habits where each day is much the same as the previous one. This results in a lack of excitement and eventually a lack of interest. Try to come up with ideas which are new and fresh, that you can both do together.

Try to remember how fresh your relationship was in the beginning. Figure out why this changed, and what changes you can make to bring this freshness back into your lives. The worst thing that you can do is to leave things how they are, and just go through the motions each day.

A troubled marriage can be changed easily enough, if you are both prepared to put in the time and effort.

How Can I Save My Marriage Quickly!

2009-10-04T06:31:00.001-07:00

Is your marriage that you once thought would last forever, crumbling around your ears? Have you and your partner, hit a turning point in your relationship that could either go one way or the other? Do you think your marriage is irretrievable, and heading headlong down the dizzy spiral towards divorce. If this is you, then you need to find answers, and you need to find them fast. So in order to answer the question How can I save my marriage quickly, you need to act now!

Like you, I was in a desperate situation when my marriage was all but over. I was endlessly searching for that one solution, that one quick fix that would give me all the answers on how i could save my marriage fast. I knew I couldn't do it on my own and I needed help, but I just didn't know where to turn. So in desperation the only thing I could think of doing was to start begging my partner for forgiveness, even though I knew it wasn't all my fault. This only made the situation worse. It wasn't until I learned to start thinking rationally, that I thought I might be able to save my marriage quickly!

I began to realise that If I was going to repair my marriage I needed to look at myself, not the faults of my partner. If change was going to happen then I was going to have to initiate it. So I started to look at my partner in a different light. Thinking back to the day that I met her and how she made my heart skip a beat every time I saw her.

A good thing to remember is that your partner might have changed, but then again, probably so have you! So focus on the good things about your partner and think about how they have enhanced your life and what they bring to the partnership. If your partner feels that you are compassionate and caring, then this will reflect on them and they will feel more positive towards you.

Soul Mate For Marriage

2009-10-04T06:28:00.001-07:00

As children, we often look around us and observe the relationships of the adults in our lives. We see the love that they have for one another and wonder about marriage. From there, we start to dream and think of all the things that we would like our future husband or wife to look like. Would we like for them to be tall? Perhaps we would prefer someone that is shorter than ourselves. Maybe we find that there is a certain eye color that seems to hold our attention more than the others. The older we get, the more we perfect what they should look like. We meet potential mates and pick the characteristics that we find most attractive and transfer them into the idea of our future mate will posses. We start to dream of how we will meet them. Then we do, and everything we could have ever hoped for is there before us for the taking. They sweep you off your feet and share similar life goals and finally...propose!

Nothing is better than starting a life with the person that we have spent your whole life dreaming and preparing for. The fun of planning the wedding celebration begins. As a couple, you get to plan the perfect blend of your personalities and put them into party form to share with your family and friends.

Nothing will ever be the same but one thing is for sure, life will defiantly be interesting and new. With communication, understanding, and the determination to love each other unconditionally, your marriage will stand the test of time.

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Keep the Flame Burning - Dating After You're Married

2009-10-04T06:23:00.001-07:00

Why? Because dating is a fun way to keep the flame burning in your relationship, long after you thought your dating days were over. Dating your partner after helps to strengthen your relationship and build a lasting marriage.

Sadly these days, too many marriages end in divorce. We lose the connection and everything else seems more important. The trouble is that over time, we can easily begin to take each other for granted. And like a garden that grows wild without attention, your relationship begins to lose its blossom. However, if you're willing to make the effort, if you will invest the time and care into it, you can make your relationship bloom once again.

So how can you do this? The answer is simple, by spending time together in mutually enjoyable activities or at social events in which you both share an interest. In other words, by dating again.

To get started, you should you both choose a night that you know you'll be able to make. Put it on your calendar and stick to it. Select something that you can both do together and that will be great fun. Perhaps you could take a sushi-making class together or go to a special event such as a concert or a film premiere. Anything that gets you out of the house and doing something together is a great place to start.

It doesn't have to be extravagant, although when it's your turn to think up a date, your partner would certainly appreciate something exclusive and special. Perhaps they have a favourite chef and you could book a table at their restaurant. Maybe they've always wanted to experience the ballet or have a picnic and see an opera performed at Glyndebourne. Whatever it is, it's not just about the money that you spend; it's really the thought that counts.

So think up some ideas, jot them down and share them with your loved one. Make the most of the time you have together and don't end up sitting in front of the telly night after night. Make a commitment to spend one evening a month or even one evening a week going out on a date together. You'll have forgotten how much fun it is to relax and unwind with your best half.

Don't forget, you don't have to just do things you've done before. Why not try things that are completely new to you both. Keep the fire burning!

Whether you're young or old, single, engaged or married, if you want to enjoy a long and successful relationship, why not get our free e-guide 'Now You've Got Her, Keep Her!' by visiting Your London Wedding Planner.

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Marriage Counseling For Newly Weds

2009-10-01T07:42:00.000-07:00

When people get married, they never expect that squabbles and little arguments will come up from time to time, but they do. This is where marriage counseling comes in to help people solve those major or minor misunderstandings they might be having. Mostly this counseling is for newly weds because if you have already done fifty years together in a marriage, I hardly doubt you will need marriage counseling.

Free marriage counseling is available, mostly in your community or home church. Getting marriage counseling does not mean that you cannot understand each other it is just means that you want to understand each other better. Rushing into a divorce can become messing especially if there is love still lingering. There are several counselors who are available for free marriage counseling. They do not have to be your priest, however if your priest or pastor is doing a bang off job then stick to him. If the misunderstanding is not so big you might want to look for free advice first.

You can look through the internet for free advice or where you can get free counseling especially if it is very important. Sustain a marriage and making sure it works is important. That is why if you are offered any kind of counseling advice even from your parents it is best you take it and try and work through it. Family is always important and if they decide they want to give you advice on your marriage then you should take it. They care for you and want things to go well for you and only you can make the marriage work if you heed to their advice.

Peter Gitundu Creates Interesting And Thought Provoking Content on Marriage Relationships. For More Information, Read More Of His Articles Here MARRIAGE RELATIONSHIPS If You Enjoyed This Article, Make Sure You SUBSCRIBE TO MY RSS FEED!

Marriage Counseling - Keep Your Husband Satisfied at Home and Save Your Marriage

2009-10-01T07:40:00.000-07:00

Husbands by and large give varied reasons for seeking sexual or emotional fulfillment outside the home. But one thing is for sure, many of them were not getting the type of fulfillment they hoped for at home. Some had unrealistic expectations while others were asking for the basic needs that a wife should fulfill.

Now, we do not condone a cheating spouse and do not believe that any situation should cause a partner to seek satisfaction from anyone apart from his wife. Nevertheless, the truth remains that many husbands do this and it is up to you to safeguard the purity and sanctity of your marriage.

Men generally have a higher sex drive than women (although you have many marriages with the reverse) therefore, as wives we need to be willing to give much more to create a balance and two way satisfaction in our marriage.

There are too many women out there who would be willing to satisfy your spouse at the drop of a pin. So, if you are not doing it you may be asking for trouble.

Let us look at some simple but powerful ways that you can keep your husband satisfied at home:

A Peaceful Home

Nothing is more unappealing than a home mixed with strife, a nagging wife and constant arguing. If your home is not peaceful then your husband may not want to be there. He may seek a more peaceful environment somewhere else.

Therefore, if as he comes through the door you bombard him with all the negatives, this is what he will grow to expect and in his eyes you are not that loving and considerate he hoped for.

Now, he may not be the loving and considerate husband you also hoped for and if this is the case we would advice you to get your feeling out in the open once and for all and come up with a plan as a couple.

A Daring Spirit

Men love adventure, action and escapades. You need to ensure that he receives all of that at home.

Some wives are too rigid and are unwilling to try new things. My advice to every wife is to be daring and adventurous with your husbands once it is in the guidelines of just the two of you. No one else and nothing else.

You can rent a hotel for the night and meet up there. Do a strip tease for him and so many other ideas that take creativity and some amount of planning.

A Loving Heart

Pleasing your spouse really boils down to a loving heart. Do you love him enough to keep him satisfied? Take some time this week better understand him. What his likes and dislikes are and how you fit it. Many couples have been living together for years and still do not know these basic things about their spouse.

If you want to take your marriage to a new and renewed height then put your whole heart in it and you will be amazed at the possibilities.

Do you want to have a passionate and steaming hot marriage? Life is too short to spend it wishing things were different when you can do something about it. Get your FREE marriage Ecourse Today!

About the Authors:

Mark and Lesia Gregory are Marriage Counselors & Wedding Planners with over 10 years of experience. They are the authors of: "The Marriage Thermometer - Let's get your marriage steaming hot; "Improve Your Sex Life; "Keep Him Satisfied......At Home and "The Wife Toolkit - 12 heavy duty tools to keep your wife happy

Simple Tips For a Happy Marriage - Making Your Relationship Last Long

2009-09-29T08:40:00.001-07:00

A happy marriage is one of the best things you can have in life. There may be misunderstandings and trials but if you can overcome these and make a healthy relationship with your spouse, you can be able to build a great marriage and a great life for both of you and your children.

Making your marriage work may come from simple deeds that you do each day, including things that you choose not to do or say. If you are looking for tips for a happy marriage, below are some suggestions that can be your first steps in building a happy and fulfilling married life.

* Talk and cuddle. Talking to your spouse is one great way to let him know what you like and what he likes. Do no only talk to complain. Talk to him about your day and your plans. Maintain an open communication line with your partner.

* Give time for each other. Give a little time for each other each day and schedule some activity together on weekends. If you cannot be together, don't forget to get in touch.

* Agree to avoid fights. Tell your partner how you hate fighting and getting angry. If he feels the same, you can then have an 'automatic switch' on your mind not to pick a fight but to talk calmly about it next time. Often works for me!

* Don't stop saying I love you. If you don't say it often, you will soon forget about it and you will just end up assuming that you really both love each other. Showing your spouse that you love him is often best when you also tell him how much you love him.

* Tease him. Find various ways to be passionate about him. Sex is an essential part of married life and making various ways to enjoy that aspect of marriage is one way to make great relationships with your spouse.

* Listen. Listening is one of the best tips for a happy marriage, as it is appreciated very well in marriage. Try to listen to your partner. Know their needs and know what you can do about it.

* Do not raise your voice, accuse or curse him. Anger may go out of hand but cultivate the habit of not cursing or yelling when you are angry. Words may cause irreparable damage to your partner's feelings.

* Go to church. Build your spiritual lives together and ask guidance in making your relationship work.

* Build friendship. Have fun together, enjoy doing things together and talk to each other about just anything that you want to talk about. If you can be friends with your spouse, you can also build a great partnership in marriage.

* Do not lie. Having secrets with your partner may block open communication and cause doubts in your partner's mind. The trust that you have built over time can be ruined forever with a simple lie.

* If you want your partner to be nice to you, be nice to him. Kindness begets kindness.

* Respect each other's differences. There are of course things that you will never agree with your partner. If it is something that you can put up with, sacrifice a little. Both of you should learn to compromise at times. Respect is indeed one of the best tips for a happy marriage and a successful relationship.

* Enjoy laughter together. Laughter brings out positive energy in you. A happy marriage indeed is a relationship that you can laugh together and forget about the problems in the world.

Revealed! Secrets to a Happy Marriage - 2

2009-09-29T08:38:00.001-07:00

Do you know that your marriage could have been saved the troubles if only you had taken time to work at it? To make a success of your marriage you cannot afford to ignore these tips.

Tell you what? You can still make a success of your marriage. You only need to follow these tips below for you to restore happiness back to your home.

Communication:

This is one of the most crucial ingredient to success in any marriage. Before marriage, couples often talk a lot more. But this soon diminishes after the wedding celebrations. Efforts must be made to ensure that communication continues throughout the marriage. That way both partners will learn from each other, taking time to share their thoughts and feelings.Most marriages fail because of a lack of or wrong communication. Exchanging views with one another should not be an opportunity for arguing, raising ones voice above the other or fighting. This is not communication! Nothing productive ever comes out of this, and no room should be giving to this at all costs.

Learn To Apologize:

Most couples find it hard to say 'I am sorry' to the other. Frankly, if truly you want to save your home from collapse, it is not too much for you to apologize even when you know you are right. After nerves have calmed down you may then lovingly, with a spice of joke, poke at your spouse to see his or her mistakes or you may just ignore it and move on with life. Both must make a point to apologize immediately to each other. The couples should be extra careful of their tone and manner of presenting issues, as wives especially, can be sensitive to minor issues.

Avoid being emotional:

There is always the tendency to become easily edgy when matters are being discussed because somebody is looking at the issue from a personal perspective. Please do remember at all times that marriage is between two people, sharing the same goal and who should have the 100% concept contribution to make the union work, at the back of their mind. Look at issues from the point of how it can contribute positively to success of the home and influence the home rightly.

Show understanding:

For the marriage to move forward productively and in harmony, both must know what the other is thinking and be able to show understanding. Issues should never remain bottled up. Each should be a good listener, attempting to discern each other's needs and concerns.

Secrerts to a Happy Marriage, Revealed

2009-09-29T08:36:00.001-07:00

Is a happy marriage possible? How would you respond to the question, "Would you want a happy marriage?" I am sure irrespective of the age, gender, background or financial muscle, the majority answer would be a resounding "Yes!

Sadly, many have neglected the attention marriage deserves. Yet many desire a happy and successful marriage, which has remained elusive, without inputting the ingredients required for it to work out.
In This second part of the article "Revealed! secrets To A Happy Marriage",the following are helpful and practical points for those who desire to develop a happy marriage.

100% Concept: Most couples begin marriage with the concept of each contributing 50%. Even those that have spent years in marriage also fall into this category. But would a small business be successful if each partner gave only a 50% effort? Whether it is a business or marriage, a 50/50 venture will fail. A successful marriage Should be based on both husband and wife putting all their effort into the relationship-each giving 100%! This is one of the best means of building a happy marriage.

No interference concept: Marriage is meant to be between the husband and wife, and no one else. Yet some, bring other family members into the marriage. Some choose to live at home with in-laws to save money. Others bring overbearing parents into marital matters. In either case, this can cause problems for any marriage. Both husband and wife must be completely focused on each other, building together a happy home.

Cooperation Concept: Husbands and wives are expected to cooperate in all aspects of marriage to be a leading light to the children. In a relay race, each leg must depend on the other to successfully perform their routine with each having a clearly defined move to assist in achieving victory. One must lead and one must follow. If one runner changes midstream, the routine will end in disaster. Likewise, marriage has visibly defined roles. If these are not followed, the marriage will experience hardship-and most likely end in failure.

Leadership Concept: Every marriage must have a leader, and this is the husband's responsibility. This does not mean the husband is better than the wife, or that the wife is inferior. This role does not entitle him to rule his family like a dictator. On the other hand, his leadership role is not a minor formality. God created the institution of marriage in a specific way, with strengths and skills that fit this structure endowed to both sexes. Real leaders make every effort to allow those under them to flourish.

Roles Concept: What is the husbands responsibility to his wife? He gives himself to his wife, loves her and ensures that most of her needs are provided within the husbands ability. This gives his wife the comfort and confidence that strengthens the entire relationship. By way of subtle encouragement, support and teaching, the husband will take the time to help his wife succeed.

Wives also have a vital role. They build and support the family in a variety of important ways. But because of the madness for independence and liberation, most do not understand the scope of the wife's role that a woman who is the ultimate help-mate. One who supports her husband and children. She shows sound judgment and cares for the family.She is a hard worker and frugal managing the family's finances well, under the husband's guidance; she strives for quality.

Will you pursue endless pleasure at the detriment of happiness in your home? You need to work out a way of happiness for your family. You can experience happiness in your marriage

How to Build a Happy Marriage Through Good Times & Bad

2009-09-29T08:35:00.001-07:00

How to build a happy marriage is one of life's great challenges and many people would be quick to call it impossible with the incredibly high divorce rates. However not everyone is getting divorced and not everyone that is married is miserable either! So what are some of the key things these happy couples employ to keep things running well despite any hardships?

Friction is inevitable!

While they may seem to be happy all the time these people are not without conflict. There will always be friction in any relationship, from small issues to large ones this is inevitable so we cannot deny it. We can look to reduce it and deal with it when problems arise. Pretending it does not exist or believing that your marriage has to be without friction to be happy is a mistake many couples make leading to overwhelming expectations and an inability to recognize the real priorities of their marriage.

Take Charge of Your Happiness

Another tip on how to build a happy marriage is to realize that you are not responsible for your spouses happiness nor are they responsible for yours either. Together you can help and be supportive but you cannot be so interconnected that you are living each others miseries. Try to have a rich and full life as well as being loving and supportive because firstly it helps your personal happiness and secondly it makes you a more attractive person to your partner through the many long years of your marriage.

For more on how to stay happy in marriage you could stumble through it hoping for the best or you could get what we all really want; a guide to point the way! So if you want a short cut to marital bliss click below to find out how because it is never too late or too early to make your marriage stronger!

How to Create a Happy Marriage!

A Few Tips For a Happy Marriage

2009-09-29T08:33:00.001-07:00

A lot of people seem to think that advice for a happy marriage is obvious. If this is true though, why are there so many unhappy marriages? When you are in a long term relationship, it can be difficult to look at the big picture. Because of this, it's time to take a look at some tips that can help rejuvenate your marriage.

First off, communicate with your partner! This is such an important tip. If your marriage does not have communication, then you are in big trouble. When I say communication, I don't mean arguing or yelling at each other. I mean turning off the TV, sitting down together, and talking to each other like two adults.

Second, if there are problems in your marriage, admit it! It can be easy to try and look past the fact there may be problems in your marriage. You may think that if you pretend everything is ok, then things will in fact turn out ok. This is not the way to handle problems in your marriage. You need to confront the problems in your marriage.

Third, the more you put into your marriage, the more your partner will put into the marriage as well! If you do everything you can to make your partner happy, chances are they will return the favor and put extra effort into the marriage to make sure you are happy as well. So don't be afraid to put a lot of effort into the marriage!

Finally, fixing a marriage does not mean trying to fix your partner. If there is a problem in the marriage, it is a problem with both of you. You can not try to change your partner in hopes of fixing the marriage. A marriage is a team effort, therefore, you both need to work together to fix whatever problems you may be having in the marriage. Don't just try to change your partner!

Good luck!

Keys to a Happy Marriage - Ways to Make a Happy Relationship With Your Spouse

2009-09-29T08:32:00.001-07:00

You may have seen a lot of couples go into divorce and this might leave you wondering what exactly are the keys to a happy marriage. There may not be a single formula to make marriage successful, but you can do many ways to make your marriage work.

If you are looking for ideas to maintain the life in your relationship with your spouse, here are some tips and ideas that could be your keys to a happy marriage.

- Communication. Communication most probably plays the biggest role in marriages and one of the most important keys to a happy marriage. Being able to talk to your spouse in about just anything is one good thing in marriage. Stay connected. A simple text message or a simple call would do when you are out working.

- Accept your differences. Realize that no matter how compatible you are with your spouse, there are always differences that will arise.

- Look at what is best with your spouse, not into the negative qualities you discover about him. You have to understand that your spouse has negative and positive qualities, and you have to learn to appreciate what is good about your partner.

- Forget about changing the other person. Trying to change the person to fit to your standards will not help you achieve anything in marriage.

- Add variety to your daily life. Giving your partner a little surprise every now and then is also helpful in eliminating monotony in the relationship.

- Keep in mind that loving is giving. Do not always expect your spouse to do things for you, act the way you want them to be and give you all your desires. Instead, think of what you can do to him and what can make your spouse happy. Learn to give more than what your spouse gives you.

- Respect your spouse. Marrying someone does not mean owning her or him. Respect your partner's personal rights and be kind.

- Watch your thoughts as your thoughts can become your actions.

- Plan your finances together. Especially if it involves major decisions regarding the finances, always consult your partner.

- Give trust. Don't keep secrets from your spouse.

- Avoid criticism and nagging. Compliment if necessary. If there is something that you think that needs correcting, do it lovingly and do things positively as possible.

- Encourage one another. Giving each other support is one thing that spouses should do to each other rather than finding faults in each other.

- Keep the passion alive. Sex is an essential part of marriage. Be open when it comes to sexual matters. Add variety and enjoy the lovemaking.

- Have fun together. Marriage can become so boring if you can't even watch television together with your spouse or you haven't had a good laugh together. Find something that can both amuse you and your partner. Do something fun together.

- Do not stop telling your partner you love him or her. This may be as simple as it seems but it is one of the most important keys to a happy marriage.

Carolyn Anderson is a freelance author who loves to share useful tips about love and relationships. To learn more about how to understand your husband and make a great marriage, check out What Husbands Can't Resist. Also check out Rousing the Lion, where you find great tips on how to seduce your man and keep him interested.

How to Make Your Husband Want to Come Home and Be With You - Advice For Wives

2009-09-15T06:21:00.000-07:00

Have you ever wondered how to make your husband want to come home and be with you? Many of us feel a bit frustrated and rejected when our husband spends too much time with his friends or at work. It's also beyond unbearable if your husband has decided that he needs a bit of time away from you and is bunking with a friend or has taken to staying at a hotel. If you love your husband and you simply want to spend more time with him so you can rebuild the relationship, there are things you can do, on your own, to make that happen.
Learning how to make your husband want to come home begins with letting him go. As much as you want to nag your husband into spending more time with you, that's not going to work. Typically when a woman pressures a man into something he's going to resist. Sometimes in a relationship one partner just needs a bit of room and that can be very difficult for us, as women, to understand. Your husband will feel more respected and loved if you give him what he needs. Some time apart is not going to end the relationship. It actually may be enough to make him miss you.
Also, don't overlook the power of working on yourself if you're faced with a situation in which your husband isn't as interested or attentive as he once was. It's easy to want to work at changing your husband's mind by communicating verbally with him, but it may be worth it to try a more subtle approach. Think back to how you were when you two first married. He fell madly in love with you then. You need to work on rediscovering those qualities in yourself that he loved so much early in your marriage. Let him see for himself that you are still the same woman he wanted to spend his life with.
Specific things you do and say can compel your husband to appreciate and love you more. Saying or doing the wrong thing can actually cause him to feel even more distant from you. You can make your husband fall even deeper in love with you than when you two first married.
You don't have to worry about whether your husband is on the brink of asking you for a divorce. You can control the situation and use specific techniques to naturally make him fall hopelessly in love with you.

How to Make Your Husband Fall in Love With You All Over Again - Advice For Wives

2009-09-10T06:20:00.000-07:00

If you've been wondering how to make your husband fall in love with you all over again, you're not alone. This is something many women think about after they've been married for sometime and the honeymoon phase has long since passed. Most women have undeniable intuition when it comes to their husbands and what they are feeling. If you internally know that your husband just isn't as crazy about you as he was when you two first met, you don't have to settle for that. There are ways you can reignite the desire he once felt for you and in fact, make him love you more now than he ever has before.
Learning how to make your husband fall in love with you all over again begins with accepting that, for now, things just aren't the same as they were. It's human nature to want to fix a problem in our relationship right away, but this isn't something that you can cure overnight. You need to not become overly emotional about this. Don't resort to begging him to talk about his feelings and don't cry in the hope that he'll suddenly fall back in love with you. He won't. What may happen is that you'll drive him farther away because he'll feel cornered by your emotions. Instead take the position that you're grateful that you know there's a problem and that you're going to fix it.
One way to address the problem and ensure that your husband does indeed fall back in love with you again is to think back to the early stages of your relationship. Inevitably we all change over time and those changes impact our relationships too. If you were more patient back when you two first met, try and rediscover that now. If you were passionate about your career, and you've let that slide in favor of being a wife and mother, consider taking on a part-time job again or going back to school to further your education. Show your husband, through your actions, that you are still the very same woman he fell in love with. Sometimes all a man needs is a trip down memory lane.
Specific things you do and say can compel your husband to appreciate and love you more. Saying or doing the wrong thing can actually cause him to feel even more distant from you. You can make your husband fall even deeper in love with you than when you two first married.
You don't have to worry about whether your husband is on the brink of asking you for a divorce. You can control the situation and use specific techniques to naturally make him fall hopelessly in love with you.

Keys to a Happy Marriage - Ways to Make a Happy Relationship With Your Spouse

2009-09-08T11:26:00.000-07:00

A Delay in Detecting Signs of a Marriage in Trouble Can Cause a Permanent Split

2009-09-05T06:15:00.000-07:00

Any one in a close relationship can sense trouble when things are not going right and a marriage in trouble is no exception. You gradually find that you have drifted apart from your spouse in more ways than one; you no longer enjoy doing things together; there are more frictions than happy moments when both of you are together and many more such repetitions plague your marriage in trouble. Many couples refrain talking openly about their marriage in trouble fearing unnecessary and unpleasant debates, arguments, justifications etc. But if you think that this troubled marriage can be repaired you should not delay taking some proactive steps. Delayed action here translates to a permanent split. However, there has to be very good reasons to repair a marriage in trouble, and true love and respect for each other are essential pre-requisites.
Perhaps the most common early sign of a marriage in trouble is a break in meaningful communication between the husband and wife. This communication gap usually snowballs into a total lack of understanding and empathizing between each other. You feel that every day you are starting life with a new person that you do not quite like. Distance grows till it cannot be bridged anymore. The first thing you need to admit if you were to save a marriage in trouble is that you are not flawless. There could be plenty of things that are wrong with you which could be causing pain and hurt in your relationship, resulting in the gradual break up. Communication between married couples, after a few years of marriage usually centers on finance or the kids. Is this happening to your marriage too? This is a sure sign of a marriage in trouble. Rectify it as soon as you can - keep some hours in a day or even the weekend free, where both of you can be together spending some quality time with each other. Be patient and listen to your spouse during these moments. Consciously make some topics taboo between the both of you if you find that they cause more anxiety and stress than anything else.
Marriage is a relationship which does not grow firm overnight; it is a tender sapling that takes years of caring and nurturing for it to flourish and exude happiness. Compromise might be a dirty word for many, but to save a marriage in trouble, perhaps this is the only key you have. Understanding each other's problems is one thing, but compromising your own priorities for the sake of someone you love is quite another. But to arrive at a mutually acceptable marital relationship, both of you need to extend your honest cooperation. Remember a marriage in trouble cannot be saved by you alone, no matter how strong you feel about your spouse. And to know about the kind of compromises that is needed to save the marriage in trouble, both of you need to talk and listen to each other.
Why is saving your marriage so important to you?
Because a good relationship is one of the most treasured of human interactions... especially good marriage. We all want to be loved. There are the great times together, the shared dreams and visions, the mutual likes and dislikes and more. Great relationships are essential for enjoying a good quality of life. They color everything else around us.
Losing a lover is one of the most emotionally traumatizing episodes in our life. Losing a spouse is even worse. It is amazing how the very thing that brings us the most pleasure also brings with it the most grief.
But don't give up on the love of your life yet. It is too early for this. You can still reverse the breakup and successfully reunite with your spouse. I will teach you how to bring back the passion into your marriage.
Please visit my site at http://www.LonelinessToHappiness.com/ to find out how you can get your spouse back in your life and make her or him fall in love with you again. These methods have been used by many with an extraordinary degree of success. You will be in good

One Simple Reason to Stay Married

2009-09-02T06:23:00.001-07:00

Thirty plus years ago Paul Simon came out with a Number One song that is still sung today on Oldies Stations: "Fifty Ways To Leave Your Lover." While the song had an interesting beat, catchy melody, and flowing words, it was not a song friendly towards those who thought that staying together was the only option. I daresay that many reading this have wanted to bail out of their marriage or other relationships much like Simon's "slip out the back, Jack," or "make a new plan, Stan."
Staying together is tough. Actually, if you think about it, marriages today are up against some very tough competition from Hollywood, both on and off screen. In a land where a marriage of five years is outstanding, not to mention rare, "hopping on the bus, Gus" doesn't make it easy for those of us who have made lifelong commitments. Actually, those in Hollywood made lifelong commitments also but somewhere along the way, divorce became way too easy. I'm probably a rare breed who thinks that pre-marital nuptials tells more about the person requesting it than anything. Do you have such little confidence in your ability to stay married that you need a piece of paper that will absolve you of responsibility when the time comes?
So, I'm going to give you one way to stay attached to your lover: because you told her you would when you married her. I know, it sounds simplistic and totally unrealistic, doesn't it? But does it work? Many in life do just that and they think nothing of it.
Johnny Carson said it a number of years ago, "If I had put into my marriages what I put into The Tonight Show, I would still be married."
Mort is a writer who enjoys the craft of writing about gads of things. One of his websites is located at Bamboo Placemats Another site of his discusses Fiestaware Plates

Marriage Problems Solved - Words to Use, Words to Avoid

2009-09-02T06:18:00.000-07:00

ow long have you been struggling to solve marriage problems that have been hindering your happiness? More importantly, how much longer do you think you have until things completely fall apart and divorce is the only way out? If you are getting near the point of total desperation to fix your relationship, it is time to consider the way in which you are trying to communicate with one another.
The biggest differential between couples that are able to salvage a difficult marriage and those that end up in divorce often comes down to communication. While every couple believes they are communicating in an open and honest manner, they are in fact coming at one another in a very defensive, accusatory manner which puts the other up in arms instead of at ease.
Chances are you do the same thing on a regular basis without even realizing it! So many people say they just don't understand why their spouse won't open up and talk to them. What they don't realize is that they are shutting down that possibility by the tone of their voice or their choice of words when they initiate the conversation.
The problem is that there is such a surge of raw, painful emotion that lurks behind every conversation a struggling couple has. In order to push past this, you have to first recognize it is there. Then, you need new strategies to get your spouse to drop his/her guard and have a real conversation that can lead to healing action.
First, make sure to initiate conversations at a time that is convenient and comfortable for your spouse. Don't approach them right after they walk in the door from a hard day of work or as they try to figure out how to get all the bills paid when the checking account is short.
Second, make sure that you do not phrase things that point a finger or even slightly hint that you are upset or they have done something wrong. This will immediately put their guard up in expectation of a fight.
Third, have your words carefully planned out ahead of time or even read from paper. You want to focus on your thoughts and feelings without accusing them or placing blame. Make it about you and include your feelings for your spouse and how much you love them in there as well.
This is a way to open the door for deeper conversation so that you move beyond the blame and angry accusations and really start to fix your marriage problems before it is too late.
Sabrina Summerfield has been studying marriage problems and relationship issues for the past few years. If you are having marital problems, why don't you check out: Marriage Problems : http://stop-divorce-save-my-marriage.com/marriage-problems.php

When a Husband Ignores You - Use This Simple Method to Get Him to Spend More Time With You

2009-09-02T06:10:00.000-07:00

Understanding how your husband is hard wired is very important for the health of your marriage. When your husband ignores you, it is probably not because of the 5 pounds you put on since you were married 5 years ago. You need to understand that most men are not able to multitask like women, so if he is ignoring you, he is more than likely concentrating a larger project.
Right now, the project that your husband is working on is his world. Most men don't dabble in their projects, once it is set in their mind that they are going to do something, they really have at it. All of their efforts are put into completing their project or becoming the best at something; what you need to do is teach your husband to set boundaries between their projects and your marriage.
How are you going to do this? You're not going to nag and demand that he spend time with you because you're sick of your husband ignoring you. You're going to spend some time with him working on his latest project or quest to be the best. In other words you're going to do some "male bonding".
Spending time bonding with your husband in his quest to become the best will allow him to see you as a friend and not an enemy. You will no longer be the obstacle getting in the way of his success and he will be more willing to spend time with you the next time you want to go shopping or scrapbook your latest family vacation.
Bonding with your man will allow the two of you to spend some quality time together like you used to and it's possible that you may find a hobby from the time you are spending with your husband.
Learning how men and women bond differently can make a huge difference when a husband ignores you. For 7 more free tips to get you on the road to a better marriage, visit marriagemap.info.

Communication - The Truth is Out There

2009-08-30T11:14:00.000-07:00

There was a television show some years ago called the "X-Files." The theme of the show was: "The truth is out there!"
So when we are debating the existence of aliens, yes the truth is "out" there... somewhere, but what about the truths that we hold inside of ourselves? • What is the truth about what we really believe about ourselves? • What is the truth about what we believe about the world around us? • What is the truth about what we really believe about others? • Who are we pretending to be and how much is that hurting us? • What is the truth about what we do and don't want in our lives?
Being truthful or as I like to say, "shooting straight" with yourself and others can make the difference between having complete and happy relationships, or not. It can be the difference between having complete financial freedom, or not. It can be the difference between living a life you love, or not!
You may be wondering why it matters if on occasion you are less than truthful and it really doesn't hurt anyone. We've all been in a situation where we've pretended to be someone we weren't; pretended to believe something we didn't or pretended to know something we didn't really know. Yet, being less than truthful with others (and ourselves) is hurtful in all instances, because how can we be really happy if we don't shoot straight everywhere, all of the time?
Withholding the truth about how you feel, what you see and how you perceive the world around you creates a quagmire in your head that eventually spreads to everything and everyone around you.
Doing anything other than communicating fully and completely also keeps those around us guessing who we really are, why we do what we do, what makes us happy, and ultimately what we want for our lives! Now, when we are talking about our happiness, do we really want to keep the world around us guessing about what we need, what we want or who we are?
More importantly than where our truthfulness, or lack thereof, leaves other people, being truthful is important for ourselves! When we live from a place that denies how we feel and what we want for ourselves, we ultimately crush our own spirit; our own hopes; our own will and that is clearly not a happy place to live life from!
So be honest with yourself. Ask: • Do I do what I say I am going to do -- am I living in integrity? • Am I doing what I love? • What is my purpose and am I living it? • Am I in action and moving toward what I say I want? • Am I getting what I deserve out of life?
None of us are comfortable having the "mirror" held up in front of us, but if we don't willingly take a look at how we feel about the life we live, the person we are, and the difference we make on the planet, how do we know if we are being true to ourselves?
Being honest with oneself can be difficult! It is much easier to float through uncomfortable situations justifying the use of little white lies. Yet over time these white lies become tall tales, and we tell ourselves these tales for so long that we honestly start to believe they are true!!
So what does it take to live a truthful life? Very simply: 1) Be truthful... be in integrity... know who you are, what you want and accept nothing less in your life. 2) Think truthfully... be honest with yourself and accept nothing less of others! 3) Speak truthfully! 4) Be in full and complete communication everywhere and all of the time.
Interestingly, today's technology gives us more opportunities than ever to pretend to be something other than who we really are! We hide in email. We hide behind online chat screens. We hide in Instant Messaging. We hide behind voicemail. Yet hiding who we, at our core, does nothing to serve us.
Maybe we think we are protecting someone else by being who they want us to be or protecting ourselves from embarrassment. We may even think we are protecting ourselves from being hurt, but ultimately by being less than truthful with ourselves (and others) we are doing the world a disservice.
When we assume that the world doesn't really want to get to know the real "us" we deprive the world of a unique individual whose talents and voice may be completely untapped because we assumed no one wanted to hear it. What a shame that would be!!
So stand tall... be the truth... think the truth... speak the truth. Your life will take off, you'll be happier, and the world around you will ultimately be happier too!
Clay Nelson is a business coach, experienced talk show host, author, former "nail belt wearing" contractor, and speaker at numerous trade show and corporate events including: International Builders Show, Remodeling Show, International Pool Spa Patio Expo, International Roofing Expo, and many others.
Backed by 30-years of experience and leadership in the building industry and as a business coach, Clay uses his innate intuition and people skills to help his clients take a look at what's stopping them from achieving their goals. He then helps them create plans and build teams for getting what they say they want and by-when they say they want it!
He is the founder of Consulting Services Network LLC, Clay Nelson Life Balance, and a non profit organization called Transforming America's Youth that makes a difference for troubled youth throughout the United States.
For more information, go to http://www.claynelsonlifebalance.com

Effectively Balance Your Family and Career Time

2009-08-24T11:11:00.000-07:00

Is the process of starting a family something that has been on your mind? Do you already have a spouse and children but find yourself in a quandary of working a lot while trying to discover additional time for being with your family? It is important to do what it takes to make an adequate income while not neglecting your loved ones. You will learn how to balance the time you spend with your family and the time you devote to your career.
If you are married or have children but you are out of work currently, you should make plans that revolve around your family before you accept a new job. An important factor to consider is the specific hours you are likely to work in addition to focusing on the hours your husband or wife works. If you and your spouse do not have children, you should attempt to find a position in which the scheduled hours match that of your spouse.
If you are married with children who attend school during daytime hours and your spouse works all day while your kids get ready for school and spend the day there, it would be a smart idea to look for a position that at least slightly overlaps the schedule of your spouse in order for you to be able to see your children off to school or drive them there and pick them up if they are unable to ride a school bus. It would be helpful if you and your wife or husband can make an arrangement with your bosses that allows one of you to take the kids to school and the other to pick them up.
Be careful about taking a job that has more than one shift if you have a family. If a company you are considering working for makes working various days and shifts mandatory, make an attempt to work out a schedule with your company that enables you to usually not work an entire shift that makes you miss being with your spouse and children. You also need to make sure your spouse will not unfairly be saddled with all of the time taking care of the kids before you take a job that requires all employees to work odd hours or various shifts.
Factor in how a particular organization values employees' family time before accepting a job. You should concentrate on finding a position at a company that is family-friendly and will enable you to attend special events your children participate in. You should also consider working where you will be offered flex time. This process focuses on letting employees earn extra days off work.
Make sure you get adequate time off. Whenever you feel you are overworked and have not been at home enough for your family, take a day off, if you can.
If you and your wife or husband have kids that are very young, it is helpful if one of you can be home most of the time. If one of you has an income that is very high, the other should stay at home. If neither of you makes an exceptional income, it would be a good idea for one of you to try working at home running a home business or making money off the Internet by taking surveys or writing articles. You and your spouse should both attempt to incorporate time into your schedule that involves telecommuting.
Even when you are off the clock, you have to be diligent about making time to be with your family. If you like to do things such as play tennis, you should only do that a few days a week instead of every day.
Incorporate these ideas to effectively balance your family and career time!
Todd Hicks owns Skill Development Institute, an enterprise that provides a keyboard typing lesson and academic study guide. To become a great typist or student, visit Skill Development Institute. http://sdinst.blogspot.com

Helpful Tips to Get Your Home Organized With Innovative Shelving Systems

2009-08-24T11:07:00.000-07:00

Newer homes are usually built with more storage capacity and shelving systems than perhaps homes that were built forty years or more. If you live in one of the older homes, where the closets are no bigger than a broom closet, you can relate to this dilemma. If you live in one of the newer homes, your have an impending dilemma. Regardless of how much storage space or shelving systems you currently have in your home, the time will come when you must make a decision about expanding your storage capacity, because over time, you accumulate more things than you started out with and need to find an ideal way to store it and keep it organized.
To identify the areas in your home that would benefit from some additional storage, the best approach is to organize the home from top to bottom. Put things into rooms where you know they will be used most frequently. For instance, if you would like to store some board games, it is likely you will want to get some kind of shelving right off the living or family room, since that is where games are typically played. Once everything is sorted into the ideal location, you can begin the process of thinking about what kind of Shelving Systems will work in the space.
The best area for rubbermaid shelving would be in the garage, a mud room, a shed, or another location that is not known for fancy decor. The last thing that a home owner will want to see is an open shelving system with things like cleaners, tools, and supplies in a nice room in the home. This kind of shelving is very durable and will last even in a messy garage. It can help organize some of the mess, and get everything put into one place, off the garage floor.
Another Shelving Systems option is bathroom shelving. If there are women residing in the home, most likely those women have beauty products that need a home. There are some items in a bathroom that need to be concealed like, cleaning supplies and extra supplies of toilet paper and towels. A clever option in a bathroom is to get a space saving shelving system that fits perfectly over the toilet tank. There are also nice options for under or above the sink.
Some other options to consider would be pantry shelving, commercial shelving, and wall mounted shelving. Adding pantry shelving is a great way to further organize your pantry items. Consider pull out or roll out pantry shelving systems as well. Commercial shelving works in the home for anyone who is looking to organize areas that might require large amounts of heavy products, like tools. Industrial shelving is known for its durability, storage capacity and strength. Wall mounted shelving is a great idea for anything decorative, like a place to put pictures, light weight books, or anything that might go on display.
There is a vast array of Shelving Systems that a home owner can slect from. Before making any final decisions, be clear in your mind what your needs are, then go out and get the most appropriate storage systems to fit those needs. Your choices are endless.
The lack of storage in a home can lead to some major dilemmas. Over time if not addressed, it can lead to cluttered, disorganized rooms in your home causing it to look untidy, and making the task of keeping it clean very difficult. Visit http://www.shelvingsystemsusa.com for some helpful information and useful tips to solve this problem.

Motivation: 3 Keys to Lasting Change

2009-08-13T03:42:00.000-07:00

Jeff H.
There are times in life when trying to change can be a strain. If you are like most folks, you have tried to change something in your life. And, like most folks, may have found yourself frustrated when you were unable to change. Perhaps it was a habit, an attitude, or some part of an important relationship. Whatever the issue, try as you might, you were not able to get the changes you wanted.

Welcome to the club, it’s a big one.

Here’s the really good news - you can get the changes you want! And it doesn’t have to take years and years and cost hundreds or thousands of dollars, two of the more common myths about the process of change.

Here’s a question - have you ever tried to open a ketchup bottle with a lizard? Of course not. The reason behind that rather odd question is to illustrate how frustrating and silly it is to try to do a job without the proper tools. My job in this column, and as a counselor, is simply to give you some of the tools that I have found useful in helping people get the changes they want in their lives.

Today we will look at three key tools for getting the changes you want, whether it’s at work or home.

Focus on what you want, not what you don’t want

What do the following statements have in common; “I want to stop smoking”, “I want to stop yelling at my kids”, “I’ve gotta stop working so hard”, “I need to stop neglecting my marriage.” One thing they have in common is they are all statements from clients, in the first session, when I ask them what they would like to be different about their lives. Another thing these statements have in common is that they all focus on what they don’t want.

Why is that important? Well, think about it for a moment. When you first learned how to throw a ball, were you taught where to throw it to or where to not throw it? Another silly question, really. Of course you were taught to focus on where you wanted the ball to go.

In the same way, to achieve the changes you want, focus on what you want, not what you don’t want. It’s really not that difficult. In the examples above, all we need is a change in wording, which brings a change in focus.

Here’s a sample of what I mean -

“I want to stop smoking” becomes “I want to be smoke free.”

“I want to stop yelling at my kids” becomes “I want to manage my kids (and myself) better.”

“I’ve gotta stop working so hard” becomes “I want to work smarter, not harder, and enjoy life more.”

“I need to stop neglecting my marriage” becomes “I need to make my marriage a priority.”

And so on.

Focus on one change at a time

Trying to change too many things at once dooms you to frustration at best, and failure at worst. You can end up like the side show at the circus. You know the one, where the guy is spinning several plates on a stick, and has to run around to keep them all spinning at once. Eventually, you wear out, quit, and all the plates come tumbling down.

When working on changes, especially at first, focus on one area of change at a time. As you get your “psychological feet” under you in one area, move on the next, and then the next, etc.

In this way, if you worked on one change a week for a year, that’s 50 things you could change in a year, with two weeks off for vacation.

Aim for progress, not perfection.

Let’s say you want to quit smok- oops, I mean become smoke free, for instance. You make it for six days, and then smoke one cigarette. It’s important to remember that six days smoke free is progress. Go for six more and then build from there.

What you don’t want to do is focus on the slip-up, and then give up in frustration. So many times we expect perfection from ourselves when we want to change. That’s a sure set-up for failure.

Focus on the progress, even if it’s one step up and two steps back. Keep going, and eventually you can get to 100 steps up and an occasional step back.

Focus on what you want, one change at a time, aim for progress. That’s a three part prescription for successful change.

Thanks for reading, and keep the change.

Visit SecretsofGreatRelationships.com for tips and tools for creating and growing a great relationship. You can also subscribe to our f*r*e*e 10 day e-program on how to enrich your relationship today, from relationship

What You Can Learn From the Marriage of Michelle and Barack Obama:

2009-08-10T08:03:00.000-07:00

Barack and Michelle understand the importance of putting a priority on their time together. Even with both of their busy schedules, Barack and Michelle make time for one another.
In an ABC interview, Michelle said that "Barack didn't pledge riches, only a life that would be interesting. On that promise he's delivered." She also said as part of the division of labor in their house, Barack did the grocery shopping. Read more about their marriage in the spotlight.

News Updates:
01/20/09: Barack Obama became the 44th President of the United States.
11/04/08: "Barack Obama, a first-term US senator from Illinois who campaigned on a message of hope and change, was elected the country's first African-American president tonight."
Source: Michael Kranish, Scott Helman. "Obama wins historic election." Boston.com. 11/04/08.

Election Night PDA
Born:
Barack "Barry" Hussein Obama, Jr.: August 4, 1961, in Honolulu, Hawaii. His name Barack means "one who is blessed" in Swahili. He was raised in Hawaii and Indonesia.
Michelle LaVaughn Robinson: January 17, 1964 in Chicago, Illinois.

How Barack and Michelle Met:
In 1989, Michelle was working at a downtown law firm and assigned the role of advisor to a summer associate from Harvard, Barack Obama. He reportedly didn't have much interest in corporate law, but did have a lot of interest in Michelle.
She said "she fell in love with him for the same reason many other people respect him; his connection with people."
Source: Journal Gazette/Times-Courier Online

After refusing to go out with Barack for a month, Michelle agreed to spend the day with him. They went to the art institute, had lunch at an outdoor cafe, walked and talked, saw the movie Do the Right Thing, and had a drink on the 99th floor of the John Hancock building.

In a CNN interview with Suzanne Malveau, Michelle said "We clicked right away ... by the end of that date it was over ... I was sold."

Obama: "I think it's fair to say that had I not been a Stevie Wonder fan, Michelle might not have dated me. We might not have married. The fact that we agreed on Stevie was part of the essence of our courtship."
Source: Mark Dagostino. "The Obamas' Secret to Love? Stevie Wonder." People.com. 2/26/09.

Wedding Date and Info:
Michelle and Barack's wedding ceremony was performed in October 1992 by Rev. Jeremiah A. Wright Jr. at Trinity United Church of Christ in Chicago, Illinois. The reception was held at the South Shore Cultural Center.
Stevie Wonder's song, "You and I" was Michelle and Obama's wedding song.

It was “one of the happier weddings that I had been to,” says MacArthur, “because people understood that putting the two of them together was like putting hydrogen and oxygen together to create this unbelievable life force. Everybody knew it. We understood that together they were going to be so much more than they would have been individually.”
Source: Carol Felsenthal. "The Making of a First Lady." ChicagoMag.com. 2/2009.
Obama Wedding & Anniversary Album
Obamas' Greatest PDA Moments Slideshow
More Barack and Michelle Obama PDA Moments

Children:
Barack and Michelle have two daughters.
Malia Ann Obama: Born in 1998.
Natasha Obama: Born in 2001.
Residence:
While their official residence is the White House, Barack and Michelle own a historic, $1.6 million Georgian revival home on Chicago's South Side with lots of play space for their girls. The home was purchased in 2005.
While in the Senate, Barack tried to make it a priority to be home every weekend from Thursday to Sunday.

Religion:
In a letter written 5/30/08 by Barack and Michelle, the couple resigned their membership in the Trinity United Church of Christ. Barack had been a member of the Chicago church for twenty years. More Info
Trivia:
Barack and Michelle returned most every Christmas to Hawaii where his grandmother and sister still lived.
Occupations:
Barack: President of the U.S.; elected in November 2004 as U.S. Senator representing Illinois; community organizer; civil rights lawyer; in 1997 elected as Illinois State Senator representing the 13th Senate District on Chicago's South Side; senior lecturer specializing in constitutional law at the University of Chicago Law School. Barack has served on the boards of several civic and philanthropic organizations.
Michelle: First Lady of the U.S, former Vice President for Community and External Affairs at the University of Chicago Hospitals. In May 2007, she announced she would quit her job: "It's a bit disconcerting," she said. "But it's not like I'll be bored."
Source: MSNBC.com

How to Stay Happy in Marriage For Life

2009-08-08T11:23:00.000-07:00

To stay happy in marriage may seem like a difficult task when we constantly hear of high divorce rates, domestic violence and couples in long term relationships where all passion has bled from the marriage making it dull and grey and ... unhappy. This does not need to be the case for you however if you learn how to adjust your actions to build a strong foundation that weathers any storm and that you can build a place for the two of you and your family that is full of love, happiness and contentment.
You cannot do this by expecting the world to do you a favor or by expecting your partner to be doing all the work or even sharing the load. While it can be frustrating to have an unsupportive partner when trying to build a happy marriage if you give in to the frustration it becomes a self fulfilling prophesy and you WILL become miserable and that misery will infect your spouse as well. Instead change for your marriage must come from change within yourself!

If you apply some simple marriage tips to the way you behave and speak with your husband or wife and you choose to be happy this breeds happiness which is also infectious! It is a well known psychological fact that if you make someone feel good and be happy they will feel indebted to you and will reciprocate those actions to give you back a measure of happiness two. This can become a perpetual happiness machine that even when hit by conflict and hardship will survive through those problems because of the connectedness and support you have built.

So if you are ready to take a shift in attitude and learn the skills to stay happy in marriage then click below to learn how to either tweak a good marriage into a great one or to turn a floundering one around and set it back on course for marital bliss. It is never too late to start this but the longer you leave it the harder it is to change

How Do I Save My Marriage Right Now? Follow These 3 Easy Steps

2009-08-08T05:03:00.000-07:00

10 Do's and Don'ts Of A Wonderful Marriage

2009-08-08T04:25:00.000-07:00

With the divorce rate as high as it is, you must do everything possible to strengthen and protect your marriage. You can't always have your way or give in to your feelings. You have to discipline yourself to do the right thing. You must do what is in the best interest of your marriage. Here are some fundamental guidelines that can make a huge difference.

1. Be quick to listen and slow to speak. I like to remember that God gave us two ears and one mouth. Use them in this ratio. Listening is truly an art form and it takes practice and commitment. If you don't listen to each other, someone else will.

2. Don't always try to be right. You cannot be right and be married. It is always better to do the right thing than to be right. Trying to always be right will doom the future of your bond. The powerful chemistry that you once felt will be diluted.

3. Never threaten to leave or divorce. Things change between you once you speak these words and it's hard to correct. Even if you're angry, don't threaten divorce.

4. Be quick to say, "I’m sorry". It amazes me how rapidly a couple is strengthened in love by sincerely saying they are sorry.

5. Don't expect your spouse to believe all the same principles you do. Respect their differences and them. Love them unconditionally.

6. Build your spouse up. Freely give encouragement and praise. Remember, it is better to give than to receive. Most people are starving for kind and uplifting words. Don't let the person you love fall into this category.

7. Always side with your spouse in disputes outside of the marriage, even when they are wrong. Respect the bond of your marriage. Give your spouse the message that "You can always count on me. I'm here for you."

8. Learn to appreciate the things your spouse does and verbalize these often. Don't take your spouse for granted. Thank them for the things they do for the marriage. Cooking, cleaning and bringing home a paycheck are worthy of frequent appreciation.

9. Try to never go to bed angry with your spouse. At the very least, learn to allow a truce between you until you can figure things out. Your marriage is more important than the conflict.

10. Start and end each day by telling your spouse that you love them. Let your eyes and your embrace convey the same message.

Mark Webb is the author of How To Be A Great Partner and founder of Partner Focused Relationships™. Sign up for Mark Webb’s “Relationship Strategies” Ezine ($100 Value). Just visit his website at http://www.powerfulrelationshipadvice.com or http://www.therelationshipspecialist.com

How to Save Your Marriage - 2 Secret Techniques That Will Help Save Your Marriage Today!

2009-08-01T07:57:00.000-07:00

When you want to save your marriage, you have to figure out why it is in trouble. Many different things cause marital problems. The good news, though, is that most of these can be fixed.

The reasons for marriages in trouble vary greatly. Lies, cheating, boredom, children, jobs or job losses are just a few. If your spouse had an affair, you should really seek professional help. This isn't a secret, but when you're dealing with deep trust issues, a professional will know best how to help you.

If you opt for marriage counseling, the counselor will be able to find out the reason the cheating took place, and will also be able to tell you ways to heal from such a broken trust issue.

The secret techniques aren't exactly a secret, but most people never try them. They do the opposite of what they're supposed to do, and wonder why the techniques don't work.

The first technique, when you want to save your marriage, is to leave your spouse alone. Give him or her some room. If you have to, stay with a family member or close friend for a day or two. Make sure your spouse knows that you're not leaving for good, but you think the time away will be best for the both of you.

If, on the other hand, the problem in your marriage is that you don't spend enough time with each other, then you should do the opposite. Plan a weekend getaway, or simply stay home, but devote time for both of you to talk, or do something you both enjoy doing.

These two 'secret' techniques work wonders for marriages in trouble!

This may be your last chance to save your marriage! It's not too late! Stop your divorce now! For a FREE ecourse that will help you learn how to save your marriage, visit http://www.stopyourdivorce.info now!

7 Secrets of Happy Couples

2009-08-01T07:56:00.000-07:00

Why do some couples stay happy together for a lifetime, while others are in conflict almost from the beginning?

Part of the answer is compatibility - making the initial choice of a partner with whom you share common values. Equally much, however, depends upon the choices each partner chooses to make during the relationship. Here are seven choices made by happy couples:

1. Trust: Suspicion and jealousy are the death knell of any relationship. If the other is going to cheat or otherwise dishonor the relationship, suspicion and jealousy will not prevent it, and such a relationship is fatally flawed in any case. Unwarranted suspicion and jealousy create misery in a surprising number of relationships. If you want to live happily, trust your partner completely. If they dishonor your trust, deal with the situation then. In the meanwhile, your will have been happy.

2. Open Communication: Tell the truth, tell the whole truth. If you didn't want to share your whole life with your partner, why are you together? If you make a mistake, admit it. If you have doubts, talk about them. Secrets and lies kill a relationship. With truth and openness anything is possible. Even if something is unforgivable, it is better to deal with it quickly.

3. Honoring the other's point-of-view: People disagree, couples disagree. Understanding that the two partners in a couple remain individuals is crucial to a happy relationship. Why would you expect that you and your partner should agree on everything? Honor that one of you is a Republican and the other a Democrat. Honor that one of you is a vegetarian and the other loves a great steak.

4. Self-Confidence: Co-dependence is another frequent cause of failed relationships. Happy couples know that they don't need each other. Each partner is a completely whole and valid individual who has entered into a voluntary partnership. Neither "owns" the other, nor "can't live without" the other. Each has their own interests and friends, as well as having mutual interests and friends.

5. Generosity: Greed and selfishness kill relationships. True love is generous in spirit. Mostly, generosity is not about material things, although that is also important. To have a happy relationship, be generous of your time, your love, and your attention.

6. Forgiveness: Resentments and thoughts of revenge and vengeance have no place in a happy relationship. Happy couples forgive each other completely for everything the other has ever done or failed to do - no exceptions.

7. Gratitude: Happy couples are continuously grateful for each other. Every day there are a myriad of reasons to be grateful for your partner. Find those reasons each day, and thank your partner every day.

Sign-Up for Jonathan's Daily Inspiration - Daily Quote email, and read his article: 7 Secrets for a Happy Life.

Jonathan Lockwood Huie is an author of self-awareness books. He has been dubbed "The Philosopher of Happiness" by those closest to him, in recognition of his on-going commitment to seeing Joy in all of life.

** Today is your day to dance lightly with life. It really is. - jonathan lockwood huie**

High Ticket Marketing - Latest 4 Top Secrets to Make Money With High Ticket Marketing

2009-08-01T07:46:00.000-07:00

Here's how you can easily generate sales for your high ticket products:

1. Earn the trust of your prospective buyers. It is unlikely that online users will buy from you and spend thousands of dollars on your creations unless they trust you 100%. Convince these people that you are an expert on your chosen niche and that you care to offer nothing but the best. Post testimonials of your most satisfied clients and recommendations of other experts or industry leaders. These can help you overcome the skepticism of your prospects.

2. Use article marketing. This is by far the most effective free internet marketing tool today. If you do the entire process correctly, you can enjoy higher page ranking, more traffic, and an expert label. Write articles about topics that are closely related to your high ticket products and services. Then, distribute your articles online. People who find your articles informative and useful will most likely to click on your resource box.

3. Video marketing. As they say, we are now in the YouTube age. Video sites are certainly taking the internet by storm. Take advantage of them to generate free publicity for your offerings. Create a high quality video where you can communicate the benefits and competitive advantage of your high ticket products to easily promote awareness in the World Wide Web.

4. Forums and blogs. Connect with a group of people who might be interested on what you offer by communicating with them through relevant blogs and forums. In here, you can maintain an ongoing communication with them and later on, pitch your high ticket products once you have earned their trust.

Do you want to learn more about how I do it? I have just completed a brand new free guide. Download it free here: Internet Marketing

Do you want to learn how to use articles like this to drive targeted traffic to your site? Click here: Article Writing Guide

10 Top Secrets to a Long and Happy Marriage From Happily Married Couples

2009-08-01T07:43:00.000-07:00

When you look at the statistics of divorce in the United States they really are alarming, almost half of all marriages fail in divorce. This raises a few questions such as "What is the secret to a long and happy marriage?" All marriages will have their ups and downs, but something is wrong when almost half are failing. In a recent survey of happily married couple here is the 10 most common things they said why they are successful.

Always make time for the two of you.
Remember that marriage is sometimes a bed of roses and sometimes there are thorns.
Never go to bed angry.
Remember that people do fight. It's how you do it that matters. So fight naked
Before starting an argument, consider if it's really worth it.
Marry someone that you enjoy listening and talking to.
For each time you vent about your husband/wife to your friends, tell three positive stories.
Remember that "love is like childhood. You need to learn to share."
Marriage is not 50/50, its two people giving 100/100 all of the time.
Never pass up an opportunity to say "I love you".

If you take a close look at all of these guidelines they are nothing new and won't cost you any money, however if you practise them and some of them will require a lot of practise for some of you, there is no reason why you can't have a long and happy marriage like many others in the United States and around the world. And as a bonus here is a extra guild line for 11. Be quick to say "I'm sorry".

Going through my break up was the worse experience I have ever had to go through. I have created a blog explaining exactly what I did to get her back. Many others have used it also with great success you can read about their stories as well http://www.SaveMarriageGuide.com

Stop This Divorce! - A Marriage Counseling Book Might Be What You Need to Heal Your Marriage

2009-08-01T07:38:00.000-07:00

Countless thousands of new couples end up screaming in just a short time of marriage - stop this divorce! What they need to do is seek out some advice, and one way to do that is to buy a marriage counseling book.

They're loaded with professional advice from experts on the subject. These authors have dealt with multiple thousands of cases and are armed with tips and advice that can save your marriage.

Many married couples are turning their lives around with the use of good marital advice. Pre-marital counseling has also proven to be a huge foundational tool for making a marriage work. This counseling makes the couple aware of things that could happen, before they do, give them a 'heads up' on how to deal with these mostly unforeseen problems.

When you buy a marriage counseling book, you may be buying the exact thing that will stop this divorce in its tracks. By acting quickly, you don't allow things to fester, and grow bigger walls for you to climb over.

Never let yourself get so full of pride that you can't accept help. Stubborn and unforgiving people rarely survive marital problems. You have to stay open, and put your marriage and your spouse first. No other way will do.

In order to stop this divorce, the price of a marriage counseling book is a cheap way to learn to cope. Take advantage of the times, get that book, read it, digest it, and then apply it. You'll be glad you did.

Grab your free online Marriage Counseling Book which has Successful Marriage Tips on how to save a broken marriage!

You will be able to learn how to fix a marriage without having to go through more arguments, slamming doors and days of tense atmosphere. By learning the techniques on How To Stop a Divorce and following a proven plan that has helped others you stand a much better chance at saving your marriage before it's too late...

Marriage Counseling - 7 Tips That Will Guarantee a Successful Marriage in 2009

2009-08-01T07:35:00.000-07:00

Every year we tell ourselves we are going to work on our marriage. We want to see improvements and we want them to be lasting.

As the New Year feeling wears off we find ourselves doing the same things, treating each other the same way, and experiencing the same troubles.

Well, we have come up with seven tips that can help you have a successful 2009. The only catch to it working for you is ensuring that every three months you make a commitment to go them over to ensure that you are remaining on the right path.

Be Willing to Start Over
A new year is filled with new opportunities. Your marriage is one year older, you are one year older and you should be one year wiser. Some couples just need to decide to put the past behind them and get a new beginning.

I do not know which couple has never experienced difficult times in their marriage. However, the difference with those marriages that succeed and those that fail is a decision to turn the page; to erase all the hurts and mistakes. Doing this will not be easy, but it is essential if you want to have a great year.

Become Goal Oriented
Set yourself specific goals for this year. But before doing so take some time and discuss the future with your spouse. You do not want to know that both of you want to achieve opposing things that will cause discord in the future.

Be Willing To Grow
Every year we should be growing in our maturity, love for each other and wisdom. You cannot carry the same bad habits you had in 2008, especially if they contributed to a troubled marriage. You may need to stop: drinking, nagging, bickering, fighting, cursing, lying, stealing, cheating, getting upset so easily, being unreliable and uncommunicative.

You may need to make your own list of areas you need to grow in or things you need to stop doing. Every thing is a decision away. What will be your decision?

Become a Good Listener
Has your spouse ever complained that you do not listen to them? Well, chances are it could be true. Decide to become a better listener in 2009.

If you have been struggling with this for quite a while, then maybe you need to get some books or audios that can help you. I think most people do not change because they accept certain things as a part of their character, not knowing that they determine their character.

Be Willing to Enjoy Life
Ecclesiastes chapter six and verse seven tells us that, "All man's efforts are for his mouth, yet his appetite is never satisfied".

I totally agree with this passage because no matter how hard we work to provide for our families, we will never be fully satisfied. We may tell ourselves that things will be better when we are debt free, own our own home or buy a new car. But sooner or later when we will become accustomed to what we have, we will be longing for more.

My recommendation to you is enjoy what you already have. Have fun with your family. Decide to take that family vacation you have been putting off, decide to go on that cruise with your spouse for your next anniversary, spend more time at home with your family and cut back on the time you spend at work. I know that times are difficult, but if you are determined to make it happen, it will happen.

Become More Spiritual
You may not be a spiritual individual and you have noticed that your values have been sliding. That you compromise on issues that you once held dear. Decide that this year you will become a more spiritual being.

Choose to take the right path over the path that has been leading you to no where. Spend time imparting good moral values to your children. Stop being one of those parents who say, "Do what I say but do not do what I do".

Be the Best Spouse that You can be
It is time that you stop settling for less. We all have it in us to be a better spouse.
For 2009, be unwavering and committed that no matter what happens your marriage will be the best it has been in years, because you were willing to be a better wife or a better husband.

Finally, I want you to take your spouse along with you for this exciting journey. If both of you are dedicated to the plan, then the plan will stand a better chance of succeeding.

About The Authors:

Mark and Lesia Gregory are Marriage Counselors & Wedding Planners with over 10 years of experience. They are the authors of: "The Marriage Thermometer - Let's get your marriage steaming hot; "Improve Your Sex Life; "Keep Him Satisfied......At Home and "The Wife Toolkit - 12 heavy duty tools to keep your wife happy.

Let them help you improve your marriage starting this week: http://marriagethermometer.com/

Do you want to have a passionate and steaming hot marriage? Life is too short to spend it wishing things were different when you can do something about it. Get your FREE Marriage Ecourse Today!

How to Have a Happy Marriage & Joyful Home

2009-07-26T10:03:00.000-07:00

Before we can ask how to have a happy marriage we must also ask what IS a happy marriage. This can be so different from couple to couple that sometimes we can get lost in a sea of clichés.

The classic 1950's working husband and stay at home wife with kids.
The urban couple married with cats.
The large extended family.
The Brady bunch blended family.
and many more

The problem with all of these is that we are all trying to conform to stereotypical norms from what we have seen around us and often from what we see on TV!

Real happy marriages come from good communication and a desire to build happiness not concentrate on problems. The vision we aim for can be helpful but should never interfere with the journey we are on and should not stop us doing things differently out of fear that we are breaking some sort of pact.

There are many ways to approach how to have a happy marriage but the first is to find your roles within the marriage. You do not necessarily need to be "the breadwinner" or "the homemaker" or any other clichés. You need to determine whose strengths go where and compliment each other in all things that you do. The best relationships come where both people have turns at being the leader in certain things such as cooking, finances, child rearing, home maintenance, family outing planning and so forth. This means no one is dominant, conflict is reduces and you can create your own marriage and family vision from what works best.

Foundation For A Happy Home

2009-07-26T10:01:00.000-07:00

Every building starts with a foundation. Whether a building will stand the test of time or not depends on the strength of the foundation. This also applies to marriage. If a marriage is not built on a solid foundation, it cannot support a happy home. The reason why many marriages around us have collapsed is just because they were contracted on a faulty foundation.

Every marriage is subjected at one time or the other to some kind of storms and rain. Whether it will fall or stand depends on the foundation. You can avoid that by making up your mind now to build your mind on the right foundation.

For any marriage to succeed there must be mutual agreement between the two people that will live together forever. You must personally be convinced and love the person you are about to marry for the foundation to be right.

To build your marriage on the right foundation, you have to build your home in accordance with the word of God. To build on the right foundation, you should abide by the command of God which says 'Don not be bound together with unbelievers'.
To build your marriage on the right foundation, you have to be sincere and open especially during courtship. Be sincere about your family, life, likes and dislikes. This will enable you make the required adjustments. There should be no pretensions.

Proper knowledge is an important foundation for a happy home. When you know the reason for going into marriage, have proper knowledge of what is expected of you when married, it reduces a lot of friction when you eventually marry.

How to Have a Long, Happy Marriage With Your Polish Wife

2009-07-26T09:59:00.000-07:00

Finding a Polish woman to marry can be enough of a challenge on its own, but it's even harder to keep your marriage happy, healthy, and strong. Marriage is a lifelong commitment between two people to work together and you ought to remember that to help your new relationship flourish. Always live each day as if it was your last together, and treat your bride with as a queen. Meanwhile, here are some effective tips on how to keep your Polish partner lucky.

One of the common traits of Polish women is their affinity to say what they think without sugar-coating it. You must concede this fact and love her anyway. Always accept your partner for who she is and give her your everlasting devotion and love. And forever be polite as that is something that goes a long way with Polish women.

Another thing that you can do to show your Polish companion how much she means to you is to buy her a bouquet of flowers. Nearly every woman likes to collect plants, and they are a great gift for any occasion. It's the small gestures like nice surprises and gifts that truly show a woman how much you love them.

You must also always be a gentleman to your bride and treat your partner as a princess and show her the utmost respect. Polish women demand men to be chivalrous by doing thoughtful things like holding doors open for them and making sure they are well taken care of.

One of the best things that you can do to keep your Polish companion jovial is too welcome her ethnicity and culture with open arms and make it a part of your lives. There are many interesting aspects of Poland's country that you can adopt inside your home, like eating Polish food, sporting their clothing, listening to Polish musicians, enjoying movies made in Poland, and even trying to learn the Polish language. Your new spouse will definitely be impressed with your open-mindedness and willingness to appreciate and embrace her culture.

So by following all these steps, and by always taking the time and making the effort to show your consort your love and respect, you will not only make your Polish wife very glad but also guarantee a strong and joyful matrimony for a long time to come.